The Catalyst
by Kurotsuki-Tenchi
Summary: Shirotsuki-Tenchi: Injured gravely during battle leaves Yumichika in a coma. Ikkaku inadvertidly finds his diary and reads it while his friend recovers. As he learns about his friend's deepest secrets, feelings he didn't know he had are awakened. IkkxYumi
1. The Battle

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Authors Note:** Welcome to my domain, I am Shirotsuki-Tenchi. I am not that worthless Kurotsuki-Tenchi, we are just sharing a computer and profile so I am forced to work under her name. This story is Yaoi so if you don't like boy on boy action just leave, and if you do like it than welcome you are now a friend.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach, if I did than I'd have a few scenes of Yumichika and Ikkaku making out. But it's not mine so I can only create those scenes and put them on fan fiction. Please enjoy.

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Catalyst: A substance that accelerates a chemical reaction without itself being a reactant.

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It had happened so quickly that it took the whole of the Seireitei by surprise. Dozens upon dozens of Hollows had just appeared and started attacking the Soul Society without any prior warning.

Large forces were attacking the West and North walls while smaller forces took the South and East. Everyone was running around, the whole city in utter chaos. Literally hundreds of Hells butterflies fluttered around, relaying messages to rushing shinigami.

Almost every court guard had been sent out, each assigned a specific area to protect and defend. Squads 1 and 2 were held back as protection, while squad 4 was broken off into 4 forces to hang back behind each wall for immediate treatment of incoming wounded.

Part of the North wall had already crumbled in the initial assault and squads 7, 8, and 10 had already been sent out to that location to stop any Hollows from entering the Seireitei.

Ikkaku ran as fast as he could toward the west wall, the rest of squad 11 following close behind. The Commander General had specified that they take the West gate along with squads 6 and 9 due to the large gathering there. He looked to the left where Yumichika was running along side him. The normally relaxed narcissistic face was set in serious lines, eyes dead ahead.

Ikkaku himself couldn't keep the small smile off his face, the prospect of fighting making him giddy. The Seireitei had been quiet lately, which to the 11th court squad translated loosely to boring. The only ones who weren't effected by it were Yumichika and Yachiru, they could pass the day quietly and be content. Well not for Yachiru who was always running around, but for the rest of squad without fighting it was literal torture to wait for something to happen.

He glanced at his captain, a large bloodthirsty smile was painted on his features. Ikkaku felt his own feral grin grow, looking ahead again he failed to notice Yumichika rolling his eyes at him.

As they arrived on the battlefield they were surprised at the total amount of chaos going on. Roars and shouts rang out, bodies and weapons colliding. They drew their Zanpakuto's, quickly releasing them before proceeding. As they jumped into the fray with swords drawn they were quickly engulfed in the battle.

Ikkaku was having way too much fun, Yumichika noted as he slashed at a large wolf shaped hollow. The hollow cried out and lunged forward, Yumichika had to remind himself not to get distracted by his brash partner.

Ikkaku however was too reckless in battle, forcing Yumichika to check up on him every few minutes. As he jumped at the hollow he quickly slashed downward, slicing it easily into 4 separate pieces. As it dissolved he jumped to the next one, glad that many of them weren't too tough.

There seemed to be many Menos Grande as well but they were all being taken on by the captains, leaving the smaller ones to the rest.

As he stealthily checked on Ikkaku again he noted his friend fighting a decent looking hollow, Ikkaku was already bleeding. Yumichika sighed as he was pounced at by a very ugly hollow, the hollow cried out.

"You're so ugly I don't even want to touch you, but then again if I don't fight I'll get yelled at again. Too bad for you," He said lunging at the hollow, quickly dodging when it slashed at him with a bladed forearm.

He brought his Zanpakuto up as the monster slashed at him again, the two blades meeting with a loud ring. As he struggled to hold the immense weight of the hollow sweat started to bead on his forehead. He lunged forward, shoving the bladed arm back before moving forward. As the hollow's blade went flying back he slashed forward, slicing off it's head. It then promptly dissolved, giving him a split second to scan the battle field.

It was getting worse by the second, many shinigami were down already. He spotted a squad 4 member quickly reach one of the downed soul reapers before taking him behind the safety of the wall. There was a small base camp there, where the 4th squad members were hiding and treating wounded. Squad 9 seemed to be hanging back, protecting the small makeshift hospital.

As he scanned the crowd he caught Renji and Byakuya fighting quite a distance off, Renji had already released his bankai and was happily slicing through a Menos Grande. Captain Zaraki and Yachiru was off to his right slicing enemies away as though they were nothing. His eyes continued their search until they came upon the enemy Ikkaku was fighting, as soon as he saw it he froze.

'This one is bad, very bad' A voice sounded in his head and he looked down at his Zanpakuto in surprise, he had never willingly communicated with him till now.

'What do you mean Ruri'iro Kujaku?' He asked mentally, already moving toward his friend. 'Why did you suddenly start to want to help me?'

'His Reiatsu is off the charts, and it's dark very dark.' He replied, ignoring the second question. 'Ikkaku is no match for it, whatever it is.' He replied.

'I don't feel any odd reiatsu from it, are you sure?' He asked arriving on the edge of Ikkaku's battle.

'Positive, I wouldn't lie about these things. You may have to use my real form for this one, nothing short of a captain could take him down. I think it's a Ajuukasu.' He said ignoring Yumichika's protest about using his true form, 'And I'm helping you because if you die so do I.' He replied with a snarky tone.

'Yes but why are you helping Ikkaku?' Yumichika asked, wary of a trap. 'I'm not the one in any immediate danger.'

'True, but if Ikkaku was killed there will be no question about what would happen.' He replied with a smirk, even though he didn't see it Yumichika could practically feel it.

He gritted his teeth at his Zanpakuto's words, knowing exactly what he meant. As he watched Ikkaku run for the spider like hollow he watched in worry.

Ikkaku clashed with the hollow, laughing out loud. Yumichika watched another smaller hollow go for his back, trying to catch him unawares while he fought the other.

Just as Ikkaku noticed the hollow, it was too late it had reared over his head and was ready to strike. It never came however, as Ikkaku watched it was sliced into 4 neat strips before dissolving. He looked to see Yumichika smirking, he smirked back.

"Don't worry, while you're fighting your little friend I'll keep all the others off your back." He said, with a smirk. He than proved it by slicing at another hollow that swooped down at him.

"Thanks Yumichika!" He said before turning back to his opponent, he studied him critically. The creature was more humanoid than the others with 8 legs, obviously resembling a spider. He was faster and stronger than he looked, easily dodging several of his attacks.

As he charged forward again he carefully watched his opponents movements, trying to find an opening. He nimbly dodged an incoming leg, but was blindsided by another. As he staggered back a chuckle reached his ears, he looked up sharply.

"Pathetic," The hollow breathed out still chuckling. "Being blindsided so easily," He said a sinisterly sweet smile crossing his features.

"Just shut up and fight!" Ikkaku growled rushing it again, cursing silently as it easily danced out of the way. When he had started to fight this hollow it hadn't seemed so bad, but now it's true colors were showing.

"Now that all the captains are otherwise preoccupied I can start to slowly pick off the underlings, without the smaller force the resistance will start to crumble." He said with a laugh, "Now to show you my power."

Ikkaku who was watching him one minute, and than breathing heavily the second. The power seemed to swamp him, and he looked up critically. But to his surprise only the immediate area in which he was located was affected, he could see Yumichika off to his right struggling as well. It seemed that no one else could sense that reiatsu but themselves because they were in such close proximity.

He wanted to warn his friend away but knew better to even try, Yumichika had warned him long ago that he wouldn't leave Ikkaku's side no matter what. Yumichika honored his fighting requests so the least Ikkaku could do was honor his.

As he attacked with Hoozukimaru he attempted to at least slice of one of the hollow's legs, hopefully it would get him somewhat of an advantage.

As he slashed at the leg attacking him, his blade merely glanced off. He stared in surprise before getting hit with another leg.

"Is this all you can handle?" The hollow asked with a insane smile, "I haven't even begun to use my full power. You shouldn't take too long to eliminate."

He than smiled and raised his hand at Ikkaku, a black silk thread emerged from his hand and was hurled at Ikkaku. Ikkaku himself managed to jump backwards, trying to escape the silk. Most of it went past him but a small strand landed on his arm, he watched in shock as it burned strait through his sleeve to his skin. He quickly brushed it off as it burned his flesh, ignoring his burning fingers.

"Managed to escape it huh?" He asked, watching Ikkaku's face bow. "Finally giving up? Fine than I'll just kill you here and now."

"Heh heh," The chuckle emerged from Ikkaku. The Hollow was taken aback as Ikkaku lifted his head with a bloodthirsty grin. "Things are finally getting interesting," He said with a smile before charging forward.

"Why you!" He growled moving after the advancing shinigami. "Prepare to die!"

Yumichika who had been watching from the sidelines and killing hollows who got to close sighed at his friend's antics. If Ikkaku was this excited it shouldn't last very long, that is if he can defeat the hollow.

Yumichika hated himself for the traitorous thoughts, Ikkaku would be fine he had to be. The battle progressed on, with losses on both sides. Ikkaku had lost the upper part of his shinigami robes as well as about a pint of blood, while the hollow was missing 4 of his legs.

As Ikkaku performed a finishing blow the hollow fell to the ground, falling still. Ikkaku just sighed in annoyance before turning around to battle another hollow, unbeknownst to him of the trick that was being played.

Yumichika saw it a half a second before it occurred, and flash stepped in between Ikkaku and the hollow. Ikkaku himself turned in time just to see Yumichika impaled through the chest by 2 bladed legs. Time seemed to slow as the blades sunk into his flesh, shredding muscle and tissue as they made their pass through his body. He literally felt his lungs being punctured as the blade sliced through him. The legs came to rest in his chest, the blades extending 8 inches out of his back.

Yumichika gasped in pain, doubling over as one of the legs was savagely ripped from his body. He stood there bowing numbly, as much as he could while one of the legs was still pierced through his chest. He had returned his Zanpakuto to it's sheath just as he saw Ikkaku turn, so it was still at his waist and not of any help.

He looked up at a shout, his eyes fuzzy. Ikkaku had screamed his name just then, Yumichika thought groggily. He wondered if Ikkaku was angry at him for interfering with his fight. But as he looked at his friends face he didn't look angry, if anything he looked scared.

"Heh heh heh," The sound came from the hollow. He looked over to see it standing, one leg still embedded in his own chest while he used 2 of the last 3 legs he had to stand up fully. "You were saved this time, but there won't be anyone else to interfere!" He shouted and than to their horror lifted Yumichika's body off the ground, holding him suspended in the air by the leg imbedded in his chest.

"Yumichika!" Ikkaku shouted, catching the other soul reapers attention. They all watched in horror while dividing their attention between their fights and their injured comrade. Even Kenpachi was watching out of the corner of his eye with a scowl on his face, the usual bloodthirsty grin gone.

"Now your turn," He said to Ikkaku before blasting him with another black silk thread net. Ikkaku however wasn't able to dodge this time and was caught, the silk burning into his skin.

"Shit!" He cursed while the hollow made it's way over, looking up in time to see him position his last free leg at him. He couldn't move however, the thread holding him still even as it burned.

"Now you shall too die," He said and positioned the leg over his face. "We wouldn't want to miss and let you live now would we?" He asked, Ikkaku gritted his teeth.

Yumichika who was still wavering in and out of consciousness was brought back with the sudden movement of the hollow. He was still suspended by the leg, he could even feel his blood leave his body.

As he looked down he noticed the leg poised above the immobile Ikkaku and froze in horror. "Ikkaku!" He shouted catching the hollow's attention.

"So you're still alive I see." He said and Yumichika just glared at him, his hands reaching for his side. "You think your puny Zanpakuto can defeat me?" He asked before dismissing him, "You can't even move correctly."

"I don't need to move," Yumichika said gaining his attention while grasping his swords hilt. "To defeat you," He managed to say. He lost a lot of blood but he would not waver, no matter what Ikkaku needed his help. His expression serious and with the full awareness that not only was Ikkaku watching but as well as squads 6 and 9 were watching as well as his own he couldn't care less. It didn't matter if they saw, as long as he saved Ikkaku.

"Split and Deviate... Ruri'iro Kujaku." He managed to speak pulling his blade out of it's sheath, he ignored the Ikkaku's startled gasp and continued to pull the glowing blade all the way out. Long greenish blue peacock like vines surrounded him, floating around the area.

His vision wavered but it was too late for the hollow as the vines snagged him and wrapped him up. As he fought the vines he jerked back causing Yumichika to slide off the leg, falling to the ground with a sickening crunch. He numbly heard Ikkaku yell again but couldn't do much about it. Yumichika almost lost consciousness as he struck the ground, but his determination won out and he was once again looking on.

"What the hell is this!" The hollow shouted, trying to break free. Yumichika didn't comment, but they held on even as he fought with all his strength. "Why can't I escape this!"

Yumichika held onto his sword even as his body slowly weakened, and he watched as Ruri'iro Kujaku slowly suck the life out of the spider hollow. As the flowers bloomed he smiled slightly, and the power back lashed on the hollow. As he screamed in pain he dissolved, the vines coming undone and slowly traveling back to their master.

But Yumichika was to weak to even try to reach for one of the healing blooms and as his vision started to darken he heard Ikkaku's shout off in the distance. As his Zanpakuto turned back to it's original form it fell limply from his hands, clattering as it hit the ground to lay by his side.

His eyes closed and he could feel the darkness closing in, he went calmly because he had achieved what he wanted. He had saved his best friend, no he had saved his precious person and he couldn't be more happier. He heard Ruri'iro Kujaku off in the back of his mind, yelling at him for getting them killed but he couldn't have cared less. So with a small smile on his face he let go.

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"Yumichika!" Ikkaku shouted literally ripping the net to shreds, ignoring the burning throughout his whole body. He hurriedly ran over to his friend and dropped to his knee's still shocked by what he had seen. He had never imagined that Yumichika's Zanpakuto was capable of that, he didn't know why he never told him about it.

As he dropped beside his best friend he looked down at his face. It was pale, his eyes closed peacefully. His hair was a mess and if he had been awake Ikkaku knew that Yumichika would have a fit. His thoughts froze at that thought, what if he never woke up?

A shout caught his attention, he looked up to see a small shinigami running over to them. He automatically noticed that he was of the 4th court guard, as he dropped to his knee's as well Ikkaku glared at him.

"You better fix him!" He shouted at the terrified kid, who jumped before nodding and getting to work.

"I'll try my hardest Madarame-san," Hanataro replied already bandaging the wound. "But you shouldn't move around to much as well, you are badly injured too."

"I'll be fine, just help him." Hanataro nodded again before pouring reiatsu into the bandages. "This isn't good," He commented suddenly. "His body is horribly damaged but that's just part of it, his reiatsu has fallen dangerously low."

"What does that mean?" Ikkaku asked seriously, not as knowledgeable about these kind of things. He held his Zanpakuto in his hand, it was once again in it's original form.

"It means that if he runs out of reiatsu than not even me healing his wound will help," Hanataro said sadly. "He's running dangerously low, that last move costed him a lot."

Ikkaku looked down at that, if he hadn't gotten capture than it wouldn't have been necessary. He mentally cursed at the whole situation.

A sudden roar startled him out of his thoughts and they looked up in time to see a large hollow attack. It's mouth was open and it's sharp teeth baring down at them.

Ikkaku moved to stand but his body seized, and refused to move. He cursed his body as the hollow beared down upon them. His body was too taxed, and wouldn't let him move at all.

Just as it would reach them a large odd shaped oval blade whizzed through the air, and sliced the hollow in two making it dissolve. The blade was 2 wing blades facing away and on opposite sides with an elegant cross in the middle of the circle the 2 wings created.

It than swirled back around and was caught by a tall woman wearing shinigami robes. Hanataro smiled at her, "Thanks Ren-san!" He said as he continued to heal Yumichika.

"No problem, just hurry and heal him." She said and threw the blade again, but instead of hitting anything it started to float over them. A translucent black dome appeared over them with the blade as a center, she held her hands toward it with a concentrated face.

"I'm working on it," Hanataro replied. Ikkaku studied the woman as he waited for Hanataro to finish healing Yumichika. She was tall, almost as tall as him. Her hair was pure white, it was also short in the back and long in the front. There was two black feathered charms on both sides of her forehead and her eyes were a pure blue. He quickly dismissed her however to continue to watch over Yumichika, his friend automatically taking top priority.

"I'm glad I came with you Hanataro, if I hadn't I shudder to think what would've happened." She said conversationally as a hollow attacked her shield and was shocked as it made contact. "I'm glad that Captain Unohana had accepted me into her ranks even though I can't heal."

"You can't heal?" Ikkaku asked in surprise turning sharply towards her, he always thought that the only ones to join the 4th squad was those who couldn't fight.

"The captain thought it might be a good idea to have a few fighters on her team to protect the healers while on missions." She than turned back to the force field. "It turned out to be a complete success."

"Okay enough with the conversation," Ikkaku interrupted with a scowl. "Yumichika needs healing more than we need to chit chat."

"We need to get him to the captain," Hanataro said suddenly. "I don't think anyone else has a chance of saving him," He said seriously.

"But how?" Ren asked turning to look at them even though she still held the shield, "We can't move him like this it will only make the wound worse."

They were interrupted however as a large hollow beared down upon them Ren cringed as he beat against the shield. Ikkaku who had managed to regain some of his strength was able to stand, a bit wobbly but he stood. He held Hoozukimaru in his hand, even if it wasn't in it's shikai form he could still cause some damage.

"Ren?" Hanataro asked and she turned to him questioningly. "How much have you used your Zanpakuto today?" He asked, she cringed as he shield was beat on again.

"Heh heh, not much just about an hour or so." She said, a bead of sweat running down her face. Hanataro gasped at her answer.

"You know you can't hold it for too long, you have about another few minutes until you collapse." He said worriedly, catching Ikkaku's attention.

"Don't worry," She said with another cringe. The hollow beat against it again, "I can hold if for another few moments. Just figure out a way to get him out of here." She said, Hanataro nodded.

"We need to hurry!" Hanataro shouted suddenly, "His pulse is almost gone!" He said panicking, Ikkaku's face went pale and he dropped down beside Yumichika.

"Yumichika!" He shouted, "Don't you dare die!" He shouted at his friend, looking at his pale face. A whimper of pain drew his attention to Ren just as the hollow pounded the shield again.

As the blow landed the shield shattered and she was knocked to the ground with a crash, her Zanpakuto landing on the ground beside her with a clatter. Ikkaku stood up and moved in front of them with his sword drawn.

"Madarame-san!" Hanataro shouted, "You are in no shape to fight!" He said still leaning over Yumichika, still pouring reiatsu into Yumichika.

"Just watch over Yumichika okay!" He shouted as the hollow lunged again, Hanataro nodded and hung back. As the hollow's claws beared down upon him a sudden blur passed by it and it was cleaved in two. As Ikkaku watched in surprise as the hollow dispersed, he turned to look at the small girl that stood before him.

"Lieutenant?" He asked in surprise, Yachiru smiled at him still dragging her sword behind her.

"Kenny told me to come and help, and told me to tell you to get feather brows out of here." She said with a smile, before spotting Yumichika. "How bad is he hurt?" She asked.

"We need to get Captain Unohana," Hanataro interrupted them. "She's the only one who will be able to help him right now, I can't keep it up much longer."

"I'm on it!" Yachiru shouted, taking off toward the small encampment that served as a make shift hospital. They stared behind her in surprise, their jaws dropped.

"Wait we need you here!" Ikkaku shouted after her, freezing as another hollow approached them. Thankfully the other squads had managed to beat back the line enough that they weren't in the middle of battle, unfortunately however there were still hollows attacking them. And with one of them on the verge of death, a healer that couldn't fight because he was healing the first, another horribly wounded, and the last on the ground and out of energy... things weren't looking up for them.

As the next hollow attacked a figure jumped down before them and killed the hollow in one blow. Ikkaku looked in surprise at the figure, "Shuhei!?" He asked in surprise.

Said shinigami turned to him with a smile, "Thought you guys could use a little help!" Ikkaku just sighed in relief at the sight of the 9th lieutenant.

"You can't even begin to understand how glad I am to see you," Ikkaku said, lowering his guard. "We really were in a pinch."

"I'm just here to watch over this quadrant, or at least that's what I told Captain Byakuya." He said with a smile, "While I'm watching this side I can also watch over you guys." He said with a mischievous smile.

"Madarame-san!" Hanataro shouted from behind them catching their attention. They both turned in surprise to see the healer panicking, his face pale.

"What is it!?" He shouted running over to kneel beside Yumichika. He had stopped bleeding but it hadn't helped, Yumichika looked as though he was already gone.

Ikkaku felt his breath stop as he saw this, Hanataro caught his look. "I'm not getting a pulse," He said sadly. "We've lost him."

Ikkaku felt his world crumble at those words, he weakly collapsed to his knees. He stared at his best friend ignoring those behind him. His Zanpakuto fell from his hand, landing with a clatter on the ground.

A commotion sounded behind him but he didn't pay attention, to focused on the pale face of Yumichika. It wasn't until a presence appeared beside him that he looked up, Captain Unohana stood beside him.

She kneeled down and held her hand out to Yumichika, her hand glowing. "Captain," Hanataro spoke. "I couldn't find a pulse, I don't think he made it."

"You must learn to look deeper Yamada-san," She said to him standing and pulling her Zanpakuto out of its sheath. "He's still alive, but barely." She commented, holding her Zanpakuto out. Ikkaku looked shocked at his words, looking at her with a shocked face.

Her Zanpakuto than dissolved into green mist before a large one eyed sting ray appeared. "Minazuki, I need your help." She replied, it than engulfed Yumichika in one bite.

"Are you sure that he is alive?" Ikkaku asked her with a thread of hope in his voice.

"Yes, now lets get you back to the base too." She replied, "You need healing as well." He moved to protest and she looked at him with a small smile. His protests died immediately at her look, one thing you should never do is argue with the captain of the 4th guard. Almost the entire soul society knew that the one person you don't mess with is the 4th squad captain, they'd rather piss off Byakuya before Unohana.

As he climbed on top of Minazuki along with Hanataro, Ren, and the captain herself they took off back toward the make shift hospital.

"Captain, Yumichika's room is ready." Isane said as soon as they had landed, the captain nodded before turning toward Minazuki. It than spit Yumichika up, before dissolving into mist and returning to it's original form.

As he was lifted onto a stretcher and wheeled away Ikkaku attempted to follow. Isane stopped him in the hallway, he growled as she stepped in front of him.

"Sorry Madarame-san," She said holding him at bay. "But no one but those from the 4th court squad can go back there, I ask you to please wait here."

"But that's my best friend in there!" He shouted, she looked sad for a bit.

"I know, but you'll do more harm than good. Trust me in this, the best thing you can do is stay out here and get yourself healed." She replied, and he looked down. Isane sighed, "I have been ordered by the captain to heal you please follow me.

She took off and he followed behind numbly, not really feeling like a fight. As he was escorted into a room with about 4 other beds he noticed who was on a few of them.

"Ren? Hanataro?" He asked them as he was motioned toward a bed to the right. "What are you guys doing here?"

"I used up almost my entire store of reiatsu," Ren replied with a smile shrugging. "I'm stuck here until I heal from it, it didn't help that I got into a few fights as well before I met up with you guys."

"I used up almost all of mine while I was healing Yumichika," Hanataro replied. "So I've been sentenced to rest for a week or two."

Ikkaku looked down at that, knowing how much the healer had sacrificed for his friend. "Thanks Hanataro for what you did." Hanataro looked up in surprise, "If it wasn't for you Yumichika wouldn't have survived until Captain Unohana got there."

"It's okay Madarame-san," Hanataro said.

"Just call me Ikkaku," He replied to the surprise of all in attendance.

"Okay," He said with a smile but than coughed weakly.

"Hanataro!" Isane turned to him with a glare, "Lay back down!" She ordered, to the surprise to everyone there. Isane was almost always soft spoken and calm, and yet she had just yelled rather loudly at poor Hanataro.

Hanataro himself jumped at her voice and when she grabbed him by the shoulders and shoved him back down a flush covered his features.

"Now stay laying down," She said with a glare before turning back to heal Ikkaku. Ikkaku himself was so shocked at the outburst that he allowed Isane to wrap his wounds without so much as a peep.

After she finished Isane left the room, promising to go check on Yumichika. Ikkaku still hadn't made a sound. Ren looked at him with a calm look, "You know there is something you can do for Yumichika."

"What?" Ikkaku asked, looking at her.

"Get him some cloths and his brush and whatnot so when he's out of surgery and is recovering he will have a chance to clean up."

Ikkaku realized that that was what Yumichika would want and promised himself that he would get his stuff as soon as he was freed from this hell.

About 5 minutes later Isane returned telling them that Yumichika would make it, at hearing that Ikkaku felt himself collapse in relief.

As she left him alone to his thoughts they strayed back to the fight, and Yumichika's Zanpakuto. He laid down, wearily the wounds on his body choosing then to start to pester him.

He had never seen it do that before or heard of anything like it, meaning that Yumichika hadn't never said anything about it. Meaning that it was kept from him for a reason.

Ikkaku was a little angry that Yumichika had kept if from him, hadn't told him about it. Yumichika learned about his bankai and yet kept his Zanpakuto's true form from his best friend. But as he recalled the long sweeping vines like things that sucked the reiatsu from the hollow he suddenly realized it. Yumichika's Zanpakuto's true form was a kido type, he jerked up into a sitting position at that thought.

That's why he never told him, if Ikkaku had learned about it at any other time he would've been pissed. He wouldn't have accepted any explanation that Yumichika would've told him, he laid back down slowly at that thought.

As he laid there thinking he felt the sedatives taking hold, he hated sedatives but after her performance with Hanataro was too afraid to warn Isane not to give him none. He swore she was getting lessons from her deceptively nice captain, Captain Unohana was absolutely terrifying.

As he slowly drifted off to sleep he promised himself that he would try to understand and accept Yumichika's Zanpakuto, it had saved his life after all.


	2. The Journal

**Authors note:** Hello again loyal readers… It is I Shirotsuki-Tenchi once again with another chapter of The Catalyst, but there is something I must tell you. Ikkaku acts a little out of character in this story because he just about lost his best friend, so be prepared. Also my OC Ren has a reason to be in the story, so be patient my slaves… ahem I mean readers. If anyone would like a profile on Ren to better understand her character than I will be more than happy to put it on the end of Ch. 3, review and tell me if you want me to.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own bleach, if I did it would be considered rated R and have many explicit scenes that would make the manga unreadable for anyone under 20. That is why I am on Fan-fiction writing my stories, because I know they will never be true. Please enjoy chapter 2.

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2 Days later

Ikkaku sat beside Yumichika's bed, watching his friend lay there. His face was pale and sunken in, his dark hair messily strewn across his pillow. Ikkaku stared at the closed eyelids closely, his dark eyes intense. Hoping the normal violet eyes would open for him, hope his friend would wake.

They had won the battle with the Hollows, yet it felt like a loss. Each force that attack the walls had an Ajuukasu leading them. Yumichika wasn't the only one badly injured, but he was the most critical case.

Rangiku had encountered a snake like Ajuukasu, she was awake and recovering in a few rooms over from Yumichika's. Ikkaku was sure he imagined it but he could swear he saw Shuuhei walking down the hallway toward her room more than usual.

Kira had faced off with a scorpion like Ajuukasu, and he got hit hard. He was still unconscious but thought to make a full recovery within a week.

Hinamori had gotten attacked by a slug like Ajuukasu, thought she won it came with a cost. She was currently unconscious as well, but was expected to be up and about in a few days. She was held in the room across the hallway, Ikkaku himself had even looked in on her a few times to see if she was okay. Ikkaku had also observed Captain Hitsugaya visiting quite frequently, but it really wasn't a surprise to him.

Yumichika however was way worse than all of them combined. They had managed to save his body but it didn't help him at all. He was in a coma, and a deep one at that. Not even Captain Unohana could tell if he will wake up or not, and that hit Ikkaku the hardest.

For the last 2 days he had sat by Yumichika's side, only leaving to use the restroom. He hadn't even left to get food, and he knew if it wasn't for Yachiru he would starve to death.

Yachiru and the captain had visited frequently, checking in on their 3rd and 5th seats. Yachiru had seen him the first day and than started to bring him food, she knew automatically that he hadn't been eating.

Kenpachi had told him that he didn't have to come in until he fully recovered. Ikkaku had found that odd, but with Captain Unohana hovering nearby he could guess why his captain was being so considerate.

"Ikkaku?" The soft voice drew his eye to the door, he automatically recognized Ren. Over the last few days they had grown a little closer, she was almost like a sister to him. An annoying older sister that you wanted to run from, but an older sister all the same.

Even Hanataro had grown closer into their little group, becoming like the little brother that Ikkaku had never had. Ikkaku himself was kind of surprised that he had grown close to any of the 4th division members given their histories, but considering what they have been through it wasn't really all that surprising.

Ren spoke up again, gaining his attention. "I got clearance from Captain Unohana, you're able to go home and shower now."

"I don't want to," Ikkaku replied looking at Yumichika again. "I have to stay at Yumichika's side in case he wakes up, he'd be angry if I wasn't here." He replied. He knew he had promised to get his friend's stuff, but sitting here looking down at Yumichika he couldn't bear to leave him alone.

"Yes, but he'll be even angrier if your dirty, stinky, and covered in old dried bloody bandages." She replied pointing to him. True all his wounds were slightly healed over, but he still had the bloodstained robes he wore during the battle.

"So, if he's angry than oh well I'm not leaving." He said still watching over Yumichika.

"But you should gather some things for him so when he does wakes he has them." She said with a glare, "You know that he will want to have clean cloths and a brush when he wakes up."

"I can get those after he wakes up," Ikkaku argued.

"Yeah but Yumichika will be pissed, and it will slow down his healing if he starts to move around." She said, "And plus you're stinking up the room." She replied, leaning against the door jam.

"Fine," He said angrily standing up. "But you will stay here and watch over him in case he wakes up ok?" She nodded, "I don't want him to wake up alone."

"I will, so now off with you," She said shooing him out of the room. "And check in with Hanataro before you leave to change your bandages." She replied and he looked down at his body. Almost every inch of skin was bandaged, covering the crisscrossing burns created by the thread net that caught him. He also had various slices and cuts that had just healed closed, the skin still fragile.

"Okay," He sighed making his way to the hallway while she took his seat. "If he wakes send someone to get me okay?" She nodded and he swore he heard her mutter something along the lines of 'no duh idiot'.

After he got rebandaged by Hanataro and getting a farewell from the small shinigami he made his way home. Thinking back on the last few days he felt sadness grip him. It had been 2 days since the battle and Yumichika hadn't even stirred once. The others who were injured during the battle had at least responded, while Yumichika hadn't made a sound.

As he went into the barracks he made his way to his and Yumichika's shared room, his mood still dark. But as he walked down the hallway he was unexpectedly interrupted by his captain.

"Ikkaku?" Kenpachi asked, walking up to him. Yachiru was hanging on his shoulder like usual, though surprisingly she was asleep. "Didn't I tell you to stay at the 4th squad building?"

"Yes sir, but I came to get a shower and gather some of Yumichika's stuff that he might want after he woke up." He replied quietly as not to disturb the lieutenant, people have been gravely injured for waking her up.

"That seems like something Yumichika would want," Kenpachi commented before turning to continue walking down the hallway. "After you're done report back to 'that place'," He phrased with a scowl. Ikkaku almost laughed at his captains summery of the 4th's building, it just showed how much Zaraki hated it there. "You're not completely healed yourself."

"Of course captain," He replied as he watched Kenpachi leave. He than proceeded to his room, and closed the door behind him.

It didn't take long to clean up, though it was kind of hard to clean with the bandages he still managed. After he was done he got a bag and went over to Yumichika's side of the room. Sitting down on Yumichika's futon he sighed sadly, before shaking his head.

Opening the drawer on the small dresser he took out some robes and stuffed them into the bag. As he picked up another a low thud was heard in the bottom of the dresser and he looked down curiously.

In the bottom of the drawer was a leather bound book, he picked it up curiously shifting it from hand to hand. Opening it to the first page he instantly recognized Yumichika's elegant handwriting. He knew because when they were traveling throughout the Rukongai before joining the Seireitei Yumichika had practiced it every day on anything he could get his hands on. Ikkaku had found it kind of odd but he didn't complain, Yumichika was always quiet when he had practiced.

As he studied the pages some more he noticed it was written in increments, separate entries on different pages. 'Odd' He thought before he started to read the first page, he froze when the top words caught his attention. It said, 'Dear Journal-Diary thingy'. He jerked the book away from him as if it burnt him, it was a Diary!

He stood there in shock at what he was seeing, Yumichika had written in a diary! Ikkaku wanted to laugh at the thought but refrained, his friend was currently in a coma after all.

He looked at the book again, debating with himself to read it or not. Technically he shouldn't read it, it was a massive invasion of his friend's privacy. But on the other hand it could explain why Yumichika had not told him about his Zanpakuto, he had a theory but it would be nice to be sure.

So against his better judgment he opened the book, and proceeded to read.

Dear Journal-Diary thingy,

Today me and Ikkaku graduated from the Academy, and both of us landed in the division in which we wanted to. But while we were leaving I noticed a girl writing in a small bound book. I had asked her what she was doing and she told me that she was making a journal to write in everyday. Upon asking her why she replied that she wanted to write down her training, experiences, and thoughts so she could read back in the future to see if anything could be improved. She also told me that I can write down feelings and secrets that were eating me up inside without worrying about disclosing it to anyone else and being judged by it. After she told me I had decided to write one myself, and see how it goes. I really don't have much to write about today except for the fact that some idiot had mistaken me for a woman... again. And after I set them strait they went about calling me gay. I swear those brutes wouldn't know beauty if you beat them in the head with it... in which I did. The worst part is that Ikkaku had just laughed, I know I didn't need his help but it still angered me that he'd laugh at me. I'm thinking about cutting my hair, maybe it will stop all those idiots. Well other than that today was pretty normal so I'll just stop writing for now so bye.

After he stopped reading the first entry Ikkaku looked down, he didn't know that it angered Yumichika so much when he laughed at him. He always thought that it didn't bother him, he never looked too affected by it.

As he pondered on this he absently looked up at the clock, he froze as he saw the time. About an hour had gone by since he came in, he scrambled to his feet.

He quickly shoved the journal into his pocket and finished packing his friend's clothing. After he gathered all the things Yumichika would like to have upon wakening he quickly made his way back. His thoughts still buzzing by what he read.

He felt retched for reading such an intimate thing as his best friend's journal, but now that he started he might as well finish. As he rushed to make it back to the hospital he was oblivious to the fact that his wounds had reopened, turning the new white bandages a bloody red.

"Ikkaku-san!" Hanataro shouted as Ikkaku rushed through the doors, getting up and moving over to him. Though he had used up most of his reiatsu during the battle he had managed to convince his captain to let him watch the front desk.

Ikkaku didn't pay no mind, just proceeding back to Yumichika's room. Hanataro quickly grabbed a medical bag before following him, knowing better to even try to stop him.

As he made it in the room Ren looked up, noticing his bloody bandages she stood abruptly. "Hey baldy!" She shouted, ignoring his glare and protest at her words. "You do know that your bleeding to death right?!" She said shoving him into the chair roughly as Hanataro proceeded to take off the bloody bandages.

"Don't be so rough on him Ren-san," Hanataro said softly as he bandaged his body again.

"He needs to realize how much damage he's done to his body," She said with a growl. "Isane-san went through all the trouble of fixing him up and he just undid a lot of that work."

"I was talking about being rough on his body, it makes healing him harder." Hanataro commented, bandaging Ikkaku's right arm.

"Oh," She said suddenly as if she just realized it. "Sorry," She said sheepishly scratching the back of her head. Hanataro just waved her apology off with a smile.

"What's with all the ruckus?" A voice asked in the doorway, they all looked to see Shuuhei standing in the doorway with a confused face.

"This idiot here decided to reopen almost all of his wounds," Ren said pointing to the bleeding Ikkaku who turned his glare on her.

"Shut up Ren," He said with a glare. She just smiled at him with a sickly sweet smile, one that promised retribution at a later date.

"Ikkaku why did you get yourself hurt again?" Shuuhei asked as he entered the room fully. Ikkaku transferred his glare to the tattooed shinigami.

"It's not like I did it on purpose," Ikkaku said to them angrily. Finally dropping the bag he brought with him beside the bed, just then realizing that he still held it. "I stayed longer than I should've and after I realized it I rushed back here." He said as Hanataro finished bandaging his wounds.

"It sounds like you're more concerned for Yumichika then is necessary," Shuuhei commented with a smile. Ikkaku growled at that, although he already used to the jokes they sometimes bothered him. Where he and Yumichika were together so much it was a joke amongst all of his friends that they were closer than friends. He really didn't feel up to it today though, before he could come up with an angry retort he remembered something from earlier.

"Really Shuuhei?" He asked with a sudden malicious smile, Shuuhei in turn looked nervous. "Because I could swear I've seen you visit Rangiku about 14 times today alone."

He jerked back with a stutter, his face flushing. "I was just checking up on her," He manage to say. "We've became friends lately is all!"

Ren and Ikkaku both looked at him unconvinced, Hanataro was just confused so he didn't participate. "Really?" Ren asked, "Because I could swear before the attack I saw you following Rangiku upon occasion, almost stalking one could say." She said with a smile.

His face darkened, "N-no I wasn't!" He denied loudly.

"Give it up Hisagi-san, you can't win against both of them." Another voice interrupted them and they looked to the door, Isane stood there with a calm smile.

"Lieutenant?" Hanataro shouted bowing as she walked into the room with a rag and bowl of water. Isane just rolled her eyes at him before looking to the others.

"I need you all to leave so I can clean Yumichika up and change his bandages," She replied getting a nod from all of them. Even Ikkaku, though reluctantly.

"Come on guys, Rangiku wanted you all to visit today anyway." Ren commented as they all stood to leave, "Sometimes doing clean up duty has it's advantages." She replied, as a non healer the most she could do was clean up the rooms and change bed sheets for patients.

As they all made their way to her room Ikkaku caught a glance of Hitsugaya in Hinamori's room again. He shook his head, he really hoped Momo recovered soon. Out of all the shinigami she had has the worst luck, she didn't deserve anymore.

"Ah guys!" Rangiku shouted as they made their way into her room. "Tell me you brought me some sake!" She wined, "I'm literally dying!"

"I told you Rangiku-san, no sake until you're out of the hospital." Shuuhei commented as they all stood around her bed, she pouted at that. He than turned to them, taking a seat in the chair beside her bed. "She's been trying to trick me into smuggling her in some sake for 2 days."

"Rangiku, you know better." Ikkaku commented off handedly, as one of the original individuals of the drinking group he has known Rangiku for a while and wasn't too surprised at her antics for sake.

"But Ikkaku!" She wined, "I haven't went this long without sake for a while!" Her gray eyes were saddened, her lower lip jutted out.

"Get over it," He groused and she glared at him. Her face relaxed however when she remembered why Ikkaku was even at the 4th division building to begin with.

"Anyway how is Yumichika?" Rangiku asked suddenly surprising them all. Ikkaku looked down slightly, his eyebrows pinched together.

"Nothing," Ren replied sadly. "He hasn't shown any awareness since he fell unconscious on the battlefield." Rangiku sighed in sadness at that.

"I was at a different wall so I wasn't able to see the actual battle, but by what I heard he got hit hard." She didn't comment about the rumors of Yumichika's zanpakuto, Ikkaku was going through so much as it was. "I really hope he wakes up, who will I go to when I want to know which outfits would be better suited to wear on special occasions?" She said with a pouting face.

Everyone face planted at that, they hadn't been expecting her to say that. "I'm serious!" She said with a huff, "He has an amazing sense of color coordination." She said with a glare when they laughed at her.

After they finally managed to stop laughing at the pouting Rangiku the rest of the visit went smoothly, they talked and laughed together for about an hour. Ikkaku was glad for the distraction, glad to take his mind off his situation.

When Isane came to tell them she was done Ikkaku moved back to Yumichika's room. Hanataro was forced to return to the front desk and Ren had to go back to her cleaning duties. Shuuhei chose to keep Rangiku company, already used to her complaining of lack of sake.

As he watched his friend he remembered the passage he read earlier in Yumichika's journal. And he realized it was still in his pocket, he tapped his pocket experimentally, satisfied when he felt the cover through the cloth. He wanted to continue reading but chose to wait. He didn't want anyone to interrupt as he read so he patiently waited for nightfall.

* * *

As midnight came Ikkaku quickly clicked on the lamp beside his chair before pulling out Yumichika's diary. After checking to make sure the door was closed and he was facing away from the comatose Yumichika he opened it again.

He really didn't want Yumichika to wake up and see him reading his journal, he knew what Yumichika was capable of when pissed. And with the discovery of Yumichika's actual Zanpakuto's form it only made him more scarier.

He froze however when that thought crossed his mind, he was reminded by what Captain Unohana had told him not 2 days ago. She had spoke to him the day after the battle, telling him that Yumichika's body was okay but not his mind. The loss of Reiatsu had severely affected him, putting him in a deep coma, there was a very high chance that he would never recover.

Staring down at the journal in his hands his heart was heavy, sadness for his friend gripping his heart. Yumichika and him had been together close to a century, the thoughts of him leaving Ikkaku shot real fear through his gut.

So with a heavy heart he silently begun to read, totally immersing himself into his friend's life. As he read past passages that depicted the normal days of Yumichika's life he started to feel tired. It wasn't until around 2 am that he read a passage that caught his attention.

Dear Journal,

The most horrible thing in the world just happened to me today! I completely and utterly hate my Zanpakuto! It is the worst thing that could happen to me! Today me and Ikkaku learned the names of our Zanpakuto's and then **it** happened! It's absolutely horrid! The division that I joined with Ikkaku is all about physical power! And I had to get stuck with a Kido based sword! It's the worst thing in the world! The worst part is that he's so conceited it's annoying! He thinks he's prettier than me! That little bastard! I started to call him by a nickname and he absolutely hates it. Take that you little metal punk! _Anyway_, other than **him** coming into being everything else went by normally. Well except for the spar that Ikkaku took place in after he unlocked his Zanpakuto's shikai form. He wielded it as if he was born with it in his hands. It was utterly magnificent to watch him fight, utterly beautiful. I've watched him fight for years now and yet I never tire of it. Other than that nothing else really stood out so I guess that's all for tonight, I'll write more tomorrow.

He lowered the book to his lap, staring straight ahead. The part about his Zanpakuto surprised him, but it was the last part that had caught his attention. He hadn't known that Yumichika had like to watch him fight so much.

As he sat back in the wooden chair he had occupied for the last 2 days he contemplated that. Yes he and Yumichika had been together for decades, and they had always fought back to back.

Now that he thought back on it Yumichika had always had a very graceful style of fighting. Even though it was Ikkaku who had initially taught him how to fight Yumichika had taken what he had learned and made it into his own. When Yumichika fought he would gracefully arc his body around, and when he blocked it was in the same manner. It was flawless and utterly beautiful.

He shook his head at his thoughts, not needing the distraction. Slightly disturbed that he had thought it was beautiful, even though it actually was.

Ikkaku shook his head again, raising the book back up to continue reading. The book was thick and had hundreds upon hundreds of entries, Ikkaku wouldn't be surprised if it took him a week or two to read it all.

Most of the entries were just about his everyday life, from training to battling the stray Hollow every now and again. But each passage opened up more insight into the psyche of Yumichika and Ikkaku found himself learning things about Yumichika that he never knew.

Like the fact that Yumichika absolutely loved blackberries, to the point of obsession. Not even Ikkaku knew about that one, Yumichika had never told anyone. He considered it a secret treat, and no one was the wiser.

He pondered about it, second guessing his decision to be reading his best friend's journal. He just shrugged his shoulders before re-immersing himself in Yumichika's life.

He read for hours until another entry caught his attention, he quickly rubbed his eyes while glancing at the clock. It was almost 6 am and his eyes were starting to hurt but he didn't care, he just continued to read.

Dear Journal,

Today Rukia's execution took place, and it was an eventful day to say the least. It first started out with getting yelled at by Captain Zaraki for letting those 2 riouka get past us, he said it was a horrible humiliating loss. But then one of them fought and defeated the captain! Even more shocking when we learned it was the one that had defeated Ikkaku not a day before. It was so surprising, but even more shocking is what the captain told us to do. He said to help try to free Rukia, I was so surprised that I almost tripped while we ran there. But it wasn't so hard to help, I was against the execution from the beginning anyway. So we had to stop any shinigami that we could from interfering with our captain's goal. I ended up fighting the lieutenant of the 9th court squad, but luckily no one was around to watch. I quickly dispatched of him using my Zanpakuto's true form after asking him not to tell anyone. After I defeated him and used some of the reiatsu replenishing flowers I quickly moved to meet up with the captain. Thankfully that riouka had made it in time to stop the execution and we watched from a distance as he fought with Captain Kuchiki. It was an amazing battle, however it wasn't the most biggest thing to happen that day. It seemed that Captain Aizen, who had supposedly been killed actually went renegade and teamed up with the Hollows. After him and that fox faced captain (I shudder just looking upon him, I have no idea what Rangiku saw in him.) and the 9th captain ascend into the sky. They had escaped from us, and upset the entire Seireitei. So after such an eventful day I'm tired so I guess I'll quit for now...bye.

That shocked Ikkaku, Shuuhei knew about Yumichika's zanpakuto's real form this whole time?! Why the Hell hadn't he told Ikkaku! Ikkaku literally seethed at this, that bastard should've told him!

But a distant memory rose in the back of his mind, it was fuzzy but he still remembered it. It had been after Rukia's execution, almost all of the lieutenants and higher ranking shinigami had went out to party. They had even managed to coax a few of the captains to join them, though they couldn't get Captain Zaraki to go.

It had been halfway into the night when he had noticed Shuuhei talking to Yumichika, he hadn't heard what was said however for he was too far away.

Yumichika had just laughed and said something in return before Shuuhei stumbled up to the counter. After ordering another drink he had turned to Ikkaku with a smile asking how his night was going.

After going through the normal pleasantries which wasn't as easy as one would think when you were drunk, Shuuhei had turned to Ikkaku again.

"Hey Ikkaku?" Shuuhei had asked with a slight slur, catching his attention. "Did you know that Yumichika's zanpakuto is very pretty?"

"You mean the 4 sickle like blades right? It looks okay, I wouldn't exactly say beautiful." He told Shuuhei and was surprised when he had burst out laughing in his face.

He than stared in confusion as he continued to laugh and walk off, moving towards an equally drunk Rangiku, Kira and Renji laughing in a nearby corner. Long after Shuuhei had left Ikkaku had stood there pondering on his words until a drink was placed in front of him.

Deciding to ignore what happened he picked up the drink and commenced drinking, continuing the night that had ended up being one of the most largest drinking binges in the Seireitei in over 100 years. Every individual that had partied the night before didn't even show up the next day, all to hangover to even get out of bed.

Ikkaku had almost forgotten that day, would have if he had begun drinking any earlier that night. Because by the next day he hadn't remembered anything after Shuuhei had talked to him.

He moved to continue reading but a rustling outside the door caught his attention. Quickly hiding the book back under his robes he quickly laid his head to where it looked as though he was sleeping.

The door opened with a soft squeak, quiet footsteps proceeded through the door. The person moved quietly into the room, stealthily making their way over to the bed. Ikkaku felt his senses sharpen, adrenaline making his blood pump. Fear for his friend fueled his body, the need to protect Yumichika strong.

As the intruder made their way to the side of Yumichika's bed Ikkaku pounced with a battle cry. An indignant squawk accompanied this action and Ikkaku found himself sitting on none other than Ren herself.

"Ikkaku?! Shut the hell up! Do you want to wake the whole hospital?!" She hissed quietly at him with a glare, that was until she noticed he was sitting on her. "And get off me you big oaf!" She said shoving him off with surprising strength for someone her size.

"Sorry," He apologized helping her to her feet. "I thought you were an intruder." She dusted the dust off herself before turning to Ikkaku with a raised eyebrow.

"In the 4th district?" She asked skeptically, still a little miffed. "That seems a little to paranoid to me." She said picking up her bag that was dropped when Ikkaku randomly tackled her.

He merely shrugged with a sheepish smile, Ren rolled her eyes. "What are you sneaking around here anyway?" Ikkaku asked suddenly, "It's like 6 in the morning."

"This is the time I check the patients temperatures and see if there is any change in their diagnosis. I was sneaking around because I didn't want to wake you up." Ren told him taking out a glass thermometer before putting it between Yumichika's lips. "There is a few things I can do to help the patients so I don't feel totally useless without the ability to heal."

Ikkaku nodded in understanding before taking a seat, relaxing again. But as another form burst through the door he was quickly standing again.

"What's going on in here!?" Shuuhei asked in barely a whisper, his eyes were wide and obviously cautious as he looked around.

"Shuuhei?" Ikkaku asked as he saw the lieutenant standing panting in the doorway. His normal messy black hair was even messier and his eyes still looked asleep.

"I heard a shout," He said relaxing when he noticed nothing was wrong. "So I came as fast as possible," He said a little sheepishly.

"What are you doing here anyway Shuuhei? Didn't you go back to your own district last night at all?" Ikkaku asked, both he and Ren watched in interest as a blush covered Shuuhei's face.

"No," Shuuhei said nervously scratching the back of his head. "Rangiku asked if I could stay the night, so I decided to so I could also check up on Momo while I'm here."

Ren and Ikkaku shared a skeptical look, Shuuhei just chuckled nervously again. They continued to stare until Shuuhei dropped his shoulders in defeat, "Okay so I stayed here for Rangiku. But if I didn't stay she'd just terrorize the 4th squad members into getting her sake."

Ikkaku agreed with that assessment, while Ren just shrugged before turning back to Yumichika. While she continued working on Yumichika Ikkaku sat back down again looking at Shuuhei who continued to lean against the doorway.

"Hey," Ikkaku asked Shuuhei suddenly causing the tattooed individual to look at him in question. "Did you see Yumichika's shikai during the battle?"

"Yeah," He said looking down at the floor. Ren who continued her daily duties was listening in curiously from the side of the bed.

"You don't seemed too surprised at it," Ikkaku stated making Shuuhei look up in surprise. "Have you ever seen it before that battle?" He asked curiously, trying to make it sound as if he didn't know that Shuuhei had actually seen it before.

Shuuhei looked down with a sigh, rubbing his temples. "Yes I have," He said making Ren look up in surprise where Ikkaku showed shock on his own. Ikkaku had seriously thought that he wouldn't tell him out right. "It was during Rukia Kuchiki's execution, I fought Yumichika when he stopped me from helping my captain." When he said captain he practically spat it out, still bitter over Tousen's betrayal.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Ikkaku asked suddenly, Shuuhei looked up before he sighed.

"He asked me not too, he practically begged me not to tell you after our battle." He said before looking away again, "And I understood what he meant, it was similar to my own predicament."

Ikkaku looked at him with genuine curiosity this time, wondering what he meant. Ren herself was just as curious, she had even stopped wiping off Yumichika's face to listen.

"In our division we try everything to avoid fighting, and many of our division shinigami have Zanpakutos that reflect that goal. Everyone except me, my own Zanpakuto's shikai form is very violence orientated." Shuuhei looked down at his own sword strapped to his waist. "I understand how it feels to have a zanpakuto that is considered an outcast within your division, so I kept it to myself."

Ikkaku nodded, though he couldn't understand why anyone wouldn't want to fight through their troubles. He himself enjoyed to fight his way out of problems. "I'm not mad at him about his Zanpakuto," Ikkaku said suddenly his eyes closing sadly. "I'm only disappointed that he never told me, that he never trusted me enough to tell me."

"He was terrified," Ren commented offhandedly. "Terrified that you would abandon him over it." When she spoke her tone was sad, her words only louder than a whisper.

"The idiot," Ikkaku muttered with his teeth clenched. "We've been together for over a century! I would never leave him over something so stupid!" He shouted, seriously angry at his friend.

A sudden strangled moan made them all look over to Yumichika's bed in surprise, their eyes wide. A twisted grimace covered the previously calm face of Yumichika, pain obvious in his features.

"Yumichika?" Ikkaku asked moving over to his bed, ignoring Ren who shouted about getting the captain before running out of the room. He watched his friend's face, hopeful for the first time since the incident.

But as soon as it came it had past, Yumichika's features fell back into their normal lack of expression that had occupied his face for the last 2 days. Ikkaku fell back into the seat, his mind racing.

As Captain Unohana came in he was quickly escorted out of the room by Isane, he didn't so much as put up a fight as he was led through the door. As he sat in the hallway out side of Yumichika's room he dropped his head into his hands, emotionally drained.

For a second he thought that Yumichika would be awake, would be okay. But as life proved to do, it had abruptly shattered those hopes into a thousand pieces. The sense of elation and joy he felt was ruthlessly crushed, taking everything out of him.

As he sat outside the door the only thing he could do for his friend was wait. And though it wasn't much, he would do it to the best of his ability.

* * *

**Another author note:** It has come to my attention that most people who are reading this are major Yaoi fans, otherwise you may not be reading this. But in the Bleach universe I only like the IkkakuxYumichika yaoi pairing. If you have any straight pairs that you might enjoy add them into the reviews and I'll decide if I would want to or not. There is a few I like but there is also a lot I don't so if yours is one I like I might add it in. Good bye and look out for the 3rd chapter!


	3. The Realization

**Authors note: **It is I again Shirotsuki-Tenchi with another chapter of The Catalyst one that will hopefully be up to par with the other chapters. I would like to thank my reviewers all 4 of them for their reviews to my earlier chapters, this includes: DeepSeaGuardian95, Angle015, Dusktown, and Sakura Otome! Now go my slaves…er readers and read you some Ikkaku and Yumichika goodness!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach, and if you think I do then I will be obligated to slice you to millions of bloody pieces with a Byakuya's Zanpakuto. But I do own Ren and her Zanpakuto! So ha!

* * *

3 Days Later

It had been three days since that faithful morning when Yumichika had moaned and he hasn't made a sound since, hadn't even twitched a muscle. Ikkaku was getting more worried by the day, he had even stopped reading Yumichika's journal.

Captain Unohana had told him that his outburst might've drawn Yumichika out in a instinctive need to help his best friend, but then he had returned to an even deeper level of unconsciousness. She said that he was even more far away from recovering than he was when he had first been brought here. That had struck Ikkaku even deeper, his friend was further from him than he had first thought.

It had been 5 days since the battle and the Seireitei was practically back to normal. The North wall had been repaired, and the battlefields were cleaned up. Even those injured were awake and about. There were practically no traces that the battle even occurred, other than his friend slowly dying in an hospital bed.

Rangiku had gotten out just the day before, whereas Kira was leaving the next day. Momo was awake and expected to leave sometime in the next few days if her status stayed stable.

Only Yumichika remained unchanged, his diagnosis still the same. He was still deathly pale, and was thinner than Ikkaku have ever seen him. Even when they were roaming Rukongai and never had much food he was never that thin.

Ikkaku laid down on the bed Ren had brought him a couple days ago, and he was infinitely grateful that she did. The chair was horribly uncomfortable to sleep in, so the bed was a welcome change.

He wasn't able to get one until now because they couldn't spare one until the rest of the patients had been discharged. Luckily the hospital was emptied by the 4th day after the battle, meaning that almost everyone was up and about. Well except for Yumichika, Kira and Momo of course, they were the only ones still being treated.

It was dark outside, taking a glance at the clock confirmed that it was about 10 pm. Ikkaku sighed and glanced at Yumichika again, feelings he didn't recognize overcame him.

In the last few days he had been feeling things he didn't understand, leaving him in a constant state of unrest. When he thought of the possibility of Yumichika never waking up he felt his throat tighten up and his eyes started to burn. Ikkaku has never cried a day in his afterlife so never knew what it felt like, but thinking about Yumichika brought him as close to crying as anything ever had.

He numbly reached into his pocket to bring out the journal, Yumichika's journal. He stared at it blankly, he hasn't opened it in 3 days. Sitting up fully he continued to stare at it, almost afraid.

Sighing sadly he put it back in his pocket, he just couldn't read anymore. For the last 3 days it was the same routine, he'd bring it out just to stare at it before sighing and putting it back into his pocket.

For some reason he just couldn't bring himself to read anymore, even though he was curious about the rest of the book. Pulling it out again he repeated the compulsive action he had been performing for days.

Clenching his teeth together he reopened the book, making sure the door was closed. Flicking the lamp on with a trembling hand he sat back against the pillows.

Going to the page he left off he forced his eyes to the page, forcing himself to continue. There was no way he'd let himself chicken out and stop halfway through, he growled at himself as he hesitated.

Since when had he became a coward? Ikkaku wondered to himself as he stared at the open book blankly, he was terrified of reading it for christ sakes! Swallowing his hesitation he took up from where he left off, making his eyes scan the page.

As he read through the pages he felt himself relaxing, proving to himself that there wasn't anything to be afraid of. As he read through many more passages he stopped as he came across one that caught his interest. Going back he reread it more carefully, actually concentrating intently on the passage.

Dear Journal,

I've discovered something weird today, and I don't know how to explain it. Today me and Ikkaku went on patrol like always and ran into a hollow. Ikkaku engaged it of course while I stood back to watch, like usual. But this hollow was more powerful than normal and I found myself wanting to interfere. It wasn't so bad until Ikkaku got knocked down quiet viciously, I had to physically stop myself from moving forward. I know how much Ikkaku hates it when anyone interferes in his fights and yet I wanted to help him so badly. I had to grab a tree branch to stop myself from moving forward, I had gripped it so hard I cut the skin on my palm. But things like this has been happening lately and it's confusing me, and it all involves Ikkaku. I find my self staring at him longer than normal, and my eyes stray toward him for no reason. When he enters a room I know it even if I don't see him. I find myself thinking more about him than I should and it's driving me insane! None of this makes sence, and I don't want to ask anyone else. I already get enough crap from everyone else about my looks, I don't to give them more things to make fun of me about. I guess I should just sleep on it, this is good bye I guess.

Ikkaku remembered that fight, it hadn't been so long ago, only a year or so. Yumichika did seem a little more tense than usual that day, but he did not notice the cut on Yumichika's palm. That bothered Ikkaku for some reason, not knowing when Yumichika was injured. Maybe it was because his friend was currently on death's door?

Something else caught his attention, something that surprised him. Since when did Yumichika want to start interfering with his fights? Ikkaku thought it didn't bother his best friend, he seemed okay to let Ikkaku fight it out on his own. He didn't know Yumichika wanted to help him so much, or the fact that he had to physically stop himself from interfering.

Yes he didn't like to watch Yumichika fighting by himself but he never knew it went both ways. When Yumichika fought it made Ikkaku slightly anxious, afraid for his friend.

Another thing that bothered him was what Yumichika described about him, the things that had been happening to him. Yes he had always knew when Yumichika was in the room, he even knew the exact minute he left. Ikkaku had just chalked it up to them being together for so many years. But reading what Yumichika wrote it didn't seem like that, it seemed more intimate.

That made Ikkaku jerk the book back from him suddenly, where had that thought come from? Ignoring that thought he brought the book back towards him.

"Ikkaku?" The question and knocking on the door caught him off guard and he quickly shoved the journal into his pocket before looking up curiously.

"Come in," He replied and Ren walked in followed by Hanataro. "What brings you guys here at..." He paused to look at the clock. "11 o'clock?" That surprised him, he had been reading the journal for an entire hour and yet it had only seemed like a few minutes.

"The division is about to shut down for the night so we are doing last calls on the patients." Ren explained as she went over to Yumichika's bed with her ever present bag.

"And I'm here to remove your bandages completely." Hanataro said gesturing toward Ikkaku, "You should be healed enough to not have to wear them."

"Finally," Ikkaku said with a sigh of relief.

"I know right?" Ren said with a smile from over beside Yumichika, "Now we don't have to worry about the bald mummy that haunts our halls now do we?"

"What did you say?" He said darkly at her comment, he had told them a hindered times that he was not bald.

"You heard me," She said with a taunt. "Or are you deaf as well as bald?"

"Why you!" He growled moving towards her, but was quickly stopped by none other than Hanataro. He looked down at the small shinigami, surprised at his strength.

"Hold still Ikkaku-san," He said calmly. "Removing bandages isn't as easy as one would think."

"Sorry," Ikkaku muttered before readdressing the short healer. "But how could it be so hard? All you have to do is unwrap them."

"Well when you bleed the blood dries to the bandages as well as the skin, efficiently sticking them together. If you pull to roughly it could reopen the wounds, making them bleed more and take more time to heal."

"Oh," Ikkaku thought settling down , he hadn't thought of it like that. As Hanataro proceeded to pull the bandages off with patience and efficiency Ikkaku had to wonder why he wasn't a higher ranking healer. He sure had the skills and patience for higher than just 7th.

"Yeah baldy," Ren said with a smirk.

"And you Ren-san," Hanataro said addressing the female shinigami. "Don't you think you should be getting to your duty of attending to Ayasegawa-san?"

Ren actually gaped at him at his comment, before turning back to her job with a pout. Ikkaku could hear her mutter something under her breath, words along the lines of: "Little punk pulling rank on me."

"Thanks for the save Hanataro," Hanataro smiled at him before gathering the soiled bandages and depositing them in the wastebasket.

"He only did that because he likes you more than me," Ren muttered as she finished up with Yumichika. "If it wasn't you than he wouldn't have pulled rank."

Ikkaku smiled evilly at her, if anyone was watching they would think it was something similar to what you would see with siblings. And actually that really didn't bother Ikkaku as much as one would think, if it wasn't for those 2 he would have went insane while waiting for Yumichika to awaken.

He was glad for the companionship those 2 provided, even though they were 4th division shinigami. He smiled slightly as Ren bonked Hanataro on the head for what he said, both of them laughing.

"What the?" Ren said suddenly drawing Ikkaku from his thoughts. He turned to see her staring at a thermometer oddly, her brow furrowed in confusion.

"What is it Ren?" Ikkaku asked curiously.

"Yumichika's temperature has risen 4 degrees since this morning." She commented with a smile spreading across her lips.

"And that means?" He asked, still not knowing where she was going with that information.

"When Yumichika was brought here he had a temperature of 95.4, which is actually a very low number. And it stayed in that area till yesterday which it had dropped another 2 degrees to 93.6, his temp is currently 97.8. That is close to the average person's temperature." She than smiled wider, "I think he's finally getting better!"

"Really?" He asked, hope rising at her words.

"I said I think," She said with a playful glare. "What do I look like a doctor?"

Ikkaku just rolled his eyes, his mood still high at the news of Yumichika's recovery. "No Ren, you are to scary to be a doctor, you'd probably hurt someone in stead of healing them."

"Why you!" She growled out with a mock glare, grabbing his head in a headlock. She than proceeded to give him a noogie, "I'll get you for that badly."

"Get off me overly brutish female!" He shouted in good humor, "And I am not bald!" He said trying to pry her off of him, but she held on. Hanataro was standing at the side laughing at them, he was laughing so hard that he had to grip his side in pain.

"Ahem," The voice that came from the doorway made them all pause and turn to said doorway. There stood Captain Unohana with Lieutenant Isane standing behind her both staring at them. Captain Unohana had her usual serene expression where it looked as though Isane was stopping herself from bursting out laughing.

"Captain Unohana!" Ren said dropping Ikkaku who landed unceremonious on the ground. Hanataro helped Ikkaku up before standing to attention as well. "I was uh..."

"Calm down Kurosu-san, I have come to perform a more in depth check up on Ayasegawa-san." She merely said as she walked past the 3, to their great surprise. "It is good to see you getting better Madarame-san."

Ikkaku just nodded at her absently, "Thanks Captain Unohana." His voice was quiet and respectful. He would never talk that way to anyone other than her, not even Zaraki could instill this much fear into him.

"Captain," Ren said gaining her attention. "When I checked on Ayasegawa Yumichika earlier I found out that his temperature has raised by 4 degrees since yesterday."

"Thank you Kurosu-san," She commented moving over to put her hand over Yumichika's form. Upon moving it there her hand started to glow, reiatsu visible.

As she dragged her hand over his form she froze in shock, the glowing stopped and her hand drew back. "Captain?" Isane asked her in shock, it wasn't often that her Captain was shocked out of her concentration.

"It is odd," She commented suddenly her voice back to it's serene tone. "When I examined him yesterday his body was on the verge of collapse, almost as if it was on it's last leg."

"What?!" Ikkaku asked suddenly, he hadn't known that. No one had told him that Yumichika's prognosis was that bad, they had kept him completely in the dark.

He tried to remember yesterday, Yumichika had looked more pale than usual. He remembered Ren had talked to him and told him people in comas can sometimes hear those around them. So he had talked his best friend yesterday, urging him to wake up. Urging him desperately not to die.

"Yes, I had felt his body starting to fail yesterday. Now though his body is back to it's normal functioning, almost as if he was back to normal."

"What could it mean captain?" Isane asked suddenly, as she looked at Yumichika critically.

"I'll need to perform a more thorough examination." Captain Unohana said as she turned to the other 3, "And I'll need the room emptied."

"Why?" Ikkaku asked, she just turned to him with a smile.

"I can't have anyone inside to disrupt the results." She explained, "Even the slightest traces of foreign reiatsu can change the prognosis."

Ikkaku nodded in understanding, before standing up.

"Yamada-san," Captain Unohana spoke up much to their surprise. Hanataro looked at he in question, "I need you back at the front desk in case anyone comes in for assistance." She replied and he nodded before heading out. "Kurosu-san, you are needed in Hinamori-san's room for she still needs to be checked on before the day ends." She nodded as well, gathering her bag and exiting the room. "And Madarame-san there is a small room down the hall you can use to clean off all the dried blood you have accumulated on your skin as well as clean clothing you can wear."

Ikkaku looked down to see that yes he did have dried blood all over himself, "Just tell me when you are done with him." She nodded with her usual serene smile and he turned to leave.

"Do not worry Madarme-san, if he held on for this long he will not falter any time soon." She said with an encouraging smile before turning back to Yumichika.

Ikkaku than walked out of the room his thoughts buzzing about what she had told him. He didn't know that he was so close to losing Yumichika, didn't know that he had almost lost him. It made him feel more horrible than usual, he had almost lost his best friend in the whole world and he hadn't even known.

* * *

It was well past midnight when Ikkaku was finally allowed back into Yumichika's room. Captain Unohana just left with a thoughtful look on her face, mentioning that there was something that she had to look up. Isane had told him that the Captain herself couldn't figure out what was wrong and was intent on researching it.

So Ikkaku was once again all alone in Yumichika's room, he promptly took a seat on the bed staring at his friend. His look was undistinguishable, too many emotions warring in his mind to tell them apart.

Yumichika just laid on the bed like usual, his features gray and drawn but not so much as they used to be. His breathing was steady and deep, almost as if he was aleep. He was asleep in a way, just a sleep he couldn't be awakened from

He daftly rummaged through his pocket to bring out the journal again, staring at it. He wondered absently what Yumichika would do to him if he found out he read it.

He smiled wearily at that thought, opening the journal. He kind of wished that Yumichika was awake to reprimand and beat him up for it, at least he'd hear his friend's voice again.

He started to read again, leaning back comfortably on the bed. Passage after passage he read on, not paying attention to the time. But it couldn't have been more than an hour when he stumbled upon a page that caught his interest.

Dear Journal,

It's beginning to make sense, all of it's coming together. I guess I'll explain before I start to rant, I'll start from the main beginning. Today we, (Me and Ikkaku) were just sitting around like usual when Captain Zaraki came in with an angry face. Upon asking him what was wrong he just glared at us with that terrifying expression that absolutely terrifies the younger recruits, after a few seconds he stalked off without a word. Ikkaku being the brave and stupid fool he was followed after the captain to question him. I being the beautiful genius that I was decided to question Captain Zaraki's closest confident. After a bribery consisting of about 80 lbs of candy and a one day pass to chew on Ikkaku's head I finally got Yachiru to squeal. She told me that the captain has been feeling some odd feelings lately and it was frustrating him. The captain had just went in for a physical checkup at the 4th squad building and was treated by none other than Captain Unohana herself. Like everyone in the soul society even the Captain Commander hesitated to mess with the 4th captain, she was one of the only people in the Seireitei that could bring Captain Zaraki to a halt. After he had returned Yachiru had bugged him until he told her why he was brooding. He replied that he couldn't stop thinking about 'that annoying woman' as he phrased it. He than went about muttering about how she caught his eyes and held them, and how he found himself waiting for her arrival at meetings. Yachiru than happily told him that he had a crush on the 'backwards braid lady' as she had phrased it, which in turn put him in an even worse mood. After hearing about Captain Zaraki's situation I had froze, those words reminded me so much about my own thoughts on Ikkaku. And than it dawned on me, I like Ikkaku more than a friend. And I fear that it goes deeper than just like, but I'm too much of a coward to tell him. I'm too afraid of being rejected, or worse mocked for it. I'll never be able to face myself if Ikkaku rejected me than laughed in my face. I don't think I'd be able to survive that kind of heartbreak, so I'll just keep it to myself for now. I'm glad that I have at least something to tell my feelings to, even if it is just this journal. I'll write tomorrow, and hope that these feelings for Ikkaku go away.

Ikkaku stared in surprise at the book, Captain Zaraki liked Captain Unohana!? Wait Yumichika liked him!? Ikkaku just stared at the journal some more, too shocked to even twitch.

So Yumichika liked him more than a friend? Ikkaku didn't know what to feel after that revelation, to surprised to even wrap his mind around the concept.

Yumichika, his best friend in the whole entire world liked him Ikkaku in a romantic sense. He just couldn't seemed to get over that little fact. His friend who adored beauty over everything else liked Ikkaku, who was as far from beauty as you could get without leaving the same species, as more than a friend. He didn't know if he was suppose to feel disgust or humor. His brow furrowed after that thought, he surely didn't feel disgust. Nothing could make him think Yumichika was disgusting, it just wasn't possible.

He didn't feel humor at the situation either, because feelings of the like were seldom funny. He could never mock Yumichika for feeling something he couldn't control, even something so intimate.

So what was he feeling? There was mainly surprise, but he also felt slightly... relieved? Why would he feel that? He than thought even deeper, trying to analyze his own feelings.

He had never tried to do that before, he had always acted on his feelings instinctively and never tried to trace their origins. But he had never been in this kind of situation before so he never had the need to before.

Concentrating deeper he felt relief mixed with happiness, covering a deep affection for the 5th seat. Deeper than he had originally thought it was. That surprised Ikkaku, had he liked Yumichika deeper than a friend without even realizing it?

How was that even possible? Wait!? He liked Yumichika more than a friend!? Ikkaku groaned while letting his head drop, how could he had missed something that important about himself? Better question is how could he even feel like that for his friend?

Homosexuality wasn't really looked down in the Seireitei, they were to busy killing Hollows to really care about who you hooked up with. As long as it didn't interfere with protocol and causes no interruption of the 13 court guard you were allowed to date who you wanted. Though Ikkaku hadn't seen himself harboring such deep feelings for another male.

But thinking deeper about it, it shouldn't really be a surprise. They had spent literally centuries together, fought back to back on many occasions, and learned more about each other than even themselves knew. If he and Yumichika were given a test on Ikkaku himself, Yumichika would ultimately get a higher score than even him.

Ikkaku sighed wearily, it was a lot to take in. He had found that his best friend and constant companion liked him romantically, which lead to a realization about himself that he most likely felt the same way for his comatose friend. No one should have to learn that much life shattering information in a span of less than 5 minutes.

It also reminded him of what was written about Captain Zaraki. So in light of his discovering his own feelings, he had also learned that his captain who was known as the badass of the Seireitei that didn't need anyone was developing feelings for Captain Unohana herself. His captain, the one who fought and killed all who stood in his way liking a calm and nice, if not scary pacifist. He actually shuddered at the vision that lept into his mind, to frightened by the image that his imagination created.

Well if there was a woman in the Seireitei that could put up with Captain Zaraki it was Captain Unohana, even he knew not to mess with her.

As he pondered on this phenomenon he wondered if the 4th captain had any mutual feelings with his own captain. Now that was slightly creepy to think upon, he quickly steered his thoughts away.

His thoughts than promptly returned to his own current predicament and he found his eyes stray to his friend once again. As he studied him a stab of pain pierced his heart as he saw how bad a shape his friend was in. The normal shiny and perfectly placed hair was messy and quite filthy. His hair hadn't been washed properly since the battle and Ikkaku knew the first thing that Yumichika was going to do was wash it. His hair was his pride after all.

His normal flawless skin was pale and his eyes were sunken in. You could tell how much weight he had lost due to his cheekbones showing through his skin. Even though it had only been 5 days since the attack Yumichika had lost a large amount of weight.

He slowly stood up and proceeded over to his friend's bed, taking a seat in the chair. He put the journal back in his pocket before addressing Yumichika.

"You know..." He said startling himself as the sound of his voice echoed in the room. "We had been together for as long as I could remember, and yet I never realized it."

Yumichika didn't show any acknowledgement, his breathing remained steady. Ikkaku just sighed, "It never occurred to me that these feelings could actually exist inside of me." He left out the part about knowing Yumichika's feelings due to his journal, if his friend could hear him than it could be very hazardous to his health to mention that small fact.

"We've been together for so long that they just developed without my knowledge, and they slowly turned into something I didn't recognize." As he spoke his voice got heavy, still watching Yumichika intently.

"But now that I know they are there, and what they actually mean it makes me even sadder to see you like this. I..." His throat closed up, and his eyes burned. "I failed to protect you, you had to even save me. At the expense of yourself..." He felt something trail down his face but steadily ignored it. "And now you're on the verge of death itself and there is still nothing I can do to help you."

He daftly wiped his face off, surprised to feel wetness on his cheeks. Staring at his hand in surprise he swallowed thickly, he was crying. Him the stubborn, brash, impatient, fight loving Ikkaku Madarame was crying. He laughed bitterly, this was the first time he had ever cried in his afterlife and it was this that brought him to it.

There was a light knock on the door and he looked up in surprise, "Um Ikkaku?" The soft voice floated through the door, he immediately recognized Ren.

Quickly rubbing his eyes dry he than swallowed before replying, "Come in." She opened the door tentatively, looking at him with worry. "What is it you need?"

"I wanted to check on you before I head to bed." She said walking in, Ikkaku saw in her eyes that she knew he was crying but she didn't say anything about it. Ikkaku was grateful for it, glad that she didn't say anything about the show of weakness.

"Thanks, though you didn't have to." He said as she took a seat on the bed, moving a little to get comfortable. "But didn't you think that I might be asleep?"

"I felt your reiatsu, it was conflicted so I knew you were awake," She said with a sad smile. "I thought I'd see how you were doing."

"Thank you but I'm fine," Her eyes told him she didn't believe that but she didn't comment.

"There is something I'd like to ask," She said suddenly drawing he legs up on the bed and wrapping her arms around them. Ikkaku was surprised to see the normal stubborn and strong willed shinigami look so vulnerable.

"What is it?" He asked her, she looked down her eyes focusing on the ground.

"Promise you won't tell anyone else?" She said looking back up, her blue eyes pleading. He nodded and she smiled slightly before looking back down. "How do you know if you like someone?"

He looked surprised at her question, just gaping at her.

"Sorry if it's inappropriate, it's just with my sister is out of the Seireitei on a mission to the real world and I don't have anyone else to go to." She said with a sad sigh. "In the last week you've come to feel like a brother to me, and it feels like I can talk to you about it." Ikkaku nodded, she too had started to feel like a sister to him.

"I don't know that much about it myself," Ikkaku muttered looking away. She seemed to slump further, "Why do you want to know?"

Than to his astonishment she blushed and looked down, burying her face in her arms. "It's just that there is someone I think I like but I don't know for sure."

"Who?" She seemed to draw further into herself at his question. But she sighed and told him anyway.

"I met him about a 2 months ago, it was the first day I was instated into the 4th division. He's pretty much here often and I got to see him though I'm not a healer so I only saw him from a distance." She said with a sigh, "But I think I like him. "Who?" Ikkaku asked more insistent than the last time, he was truly curious to see what had captured the normally strong-willed shinigami's interest.

"He's very well known," She said with a sigh. "Where I'm only a 9th seat in the 4th division."

"You're only that low in ranking because you can't heal, if you could I'm sure you'd be higher." He said trying to comfort her, which was unusual. Since when did Ikkaku get so good at helping someone feel better?

"He's a captain," She said looking at him with sad eyes. "There is no way I will ever capture his interest." That surprised him, a captain? She sure did set her sights high, most of the captains didn't really care for the lower ranking shinigami bellow the 5th rank.

He wondered who it could be, he knew immediately that Captains' Yamamoto, Soi Fong, Unohana, and Hinamori were eliminated even though Hinamori wasn't a real captain she was still standing in as one. That just left Kira, Byakuya, Komamaru, Shunsui, Shuuhei, Hitsugaya, his own captain, Kurotsuchi, and Ukitake.

"Who is it?" He asked her again hoping she didn't say Kurotsuchi, the thought of her liking that creep really bothered Ikkaku. He knew it couldn't be Hitsugaya who loved Hinamori, though everyone but themselves knew about it. Shunsui was always chasing after his lieutenant so he really didn't have eyes for anyone else. Byakuya was a little too cold for anyone to really like, too tradition oriented. Shuuhei was obviously in love with Rangiku, it was actually funny to watch. He didn't even want to think about her liking Komamaru, it was just to much for his imagination.

"It's..." She started before taking a deep breath for courage. "Mmmblmlmlble," She said while burying her head in her arms yet again, though deeper then she did the first time. Ikkaku had caught a glimpse of her face, showing him it was flushed.

"I didn't hear you." He said leaning a little closer to her. "Can you repeat that?"

"Captain mmmble." She mumbled out again, squirming slightly.

"I still didn't hear you, if you want to confide in me you're going to have to speak up." He told her and she squirmed around again.

"It's Captain Ukitake ok!" She said in embarrassment, "It's the 13th Captain and I have felt strangely towards him since I first saw him during one of his physicals!"

As the name registered he finally realized it, Captain Ukitake was always coming to the 4th building for regular checkups. His health wasn't the greatest so he was forced to come ever other week by Captain Commander Yamamoto. "So you like Captain Ukitake?" He said trying to keep himself from chuckling, she looked up to glare at him.

"Watch it I didn't make fun of you for who you like," She said menacingly. Though she sniffed directly afterward so it kind of destroyed the image she was going for.

As he finally registered what she said he shot up in his chair, "Wait you know?!" She looked at him as though he was crazy, and he sat back down quietly.

"Sure, it wasn't really rocket science." She said and he looked down angrily, "Sorry if I upset you in anyway, I'm just a little angry over my own predicament. And I'm not even sure I like him."

"It's not that," He said back with a sigh. "It's just how can you know about my feelings when even I didn't?"

"Wait a second," She said in surprise letting her legs fall of the bed. "How could you not tell that you liked Yumichika-san like that?"

"I don't know," He said with a shrug. He was surprised that he was discussing this with her, though she did trust him enough to start talking to him first. "It just never occurred to me that those feelings could develop."

She just shook her head at him, not believing he could really be that dense. But as thoughts of her own predicament resurfaced she let it go. "The problem with Captain Ukitake, how do I know if I really like him... you know like that?"

Ikkaku rubbed his chin, "I'm not so sure." He replied and she palm faced, "I didn't figure out my own feelings until about 5 minutes before you entered."

"Really?" She said in surprise, she refrained from adding anything more to that sentence. She was asking for Ikkaku's assistance after all.

"Yeah, I guess to start with you have to ask yourself a few questions." Ikkaku replied, letting his hand fall to his side where Yumichika's journal hid.

"Like what?" She asked, quite confused.

"Like do you find yourself watching him more than you should?" She nodded unconsciously to his question. "Do you always know if he enters your vicinity even though you can't see him?" She nodded again, "Do you think about him more than you normally would about someone?" Another nod accompanied his words, "Do you find yourself wanting to protect him at the expense or yourself?" His voice cracked at the end of his question and she nodded sadly. "Are you angered when he's insulted or talked down upon?" She nodded again with a sad smile. He than looked at her with a sad look, "Than you got your answer do you not?"

She smiled sadly again before nodding and rising to her feet. "Thank you Ikkaku for hearing me out and not making fun of me... much." She said with emphasis on the last word, he just smiled sheepishly.

"You're welcome," He said with a smile. She than stood with a stretch, letting a few vertebrae in her back pop before lowering her arms.

"I guess I'll head to bed now, call me if anything changes." She said motioning towards Yumichika, he nodded and she left.

As Ikkaku sat by himself he thought back to the conversation he just had, a small smile played across his lips. Glad that he had someone to confide in, even more knowing that they were going through the same thing. So as he sat in the dark with a smile, happy for the first time in a week.

End


	4. The Awakening

**Authors note:** Hello again, it is I Shirotsuki-Tenchi with another chapter of 'The Catalyst.' Before I continue however I'd like to thank my many reviewers! *Cough* 4 *Cough*. They are Angle015, DeepSeaGuardian95, Sakura Otome, Siksookie. Give them a round of applause! Next order of business is I'm thinking of writing a story of my OC Ren, if enough people say I should then I'll write it after 'The Catalyst' is done. Anyway enjoy another chapter of this lovely story! And sorry this chapter is so short!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach, if you thought I did than I'd be obligated to bribe Yumichika to use Ruri'iro Kujaku on you and suck you dry. But I do own Ren! So ha!

The next morning

Ikkaku sat beside Yumichika's bed, in the same position that he was in last night. His hands folded together, resting on his knees. His eyes rested on his friend, never straying to far away. The normal brown eyes were bloodshot, showing how long Ikkaku had been awake.

He hadn't moved since his talk with Ren, yesterday's events still buzzing through his head. His thoughts were a chaotic jumble of information, his mind still coming to grips with all that he learned yesterday.

Not only did he learn that Yumichika liked him, but he learned he liked his friend back. And not just in a friend matter, but more along the lines of romantic and deep seeded kind of like.

Not only that but he learned that his captain the one person he thought that would never ever like anyone, actually like someone. Even more surprising was it was the one woman in the Seireitei that no one wanted to mess with that his captain had fell for. It was almost to surreal to imagine.

Next he learned that his surrogate older sister had a large crush on the 13th captain? It was almost too much for him mind to comprehend in one day.

What next? He'd learn that Hanataro liked someone as well? "Scratch that thought", Ikkaku muttered to himself. It was to much for him to think on, just the thought of the shy Hanataro liking someone caused Ikkaku to sigh.

Thinking back on what started the entire fiasco he absently reached into his pocket and pulled out the black bound journal. Now that he thinks about it he was surprised that Yumichika's journal was so... bland. It was slightly weird that it wasn't pretty.

Glancing at the clock to see the time, he noted it was 5 am. It had only been 6 hours since the realization that he liked Yumichika and yet it seemed forever ago.

Opening the journal back to the page he left off he was surprised to see the written pages were running out quickly, telling Ikkaku that the days were getting closer to present. He recognized the dates getting closer to the current one.

Checking the door and turning on the lamp Ikkaku proceeded to read from where he left off. Page after page he read on for a full hour, until he ran into a passage that caught his interest. Quickly going back to the passage he reread it again more thoroughly.

Dear Journal,

It's just getting worse, so much worse. Today I found myself watching Ikkaku fight again, and started to daydream. I dreamed that we were together and neither of us were fighting. After I was startled awake I was flushed and couldn't look Ikkaku in the eye for the entire day. My feelings aren't leaving, they are getting worse! Sometimes I wake in the middle of the night covered in sweat, and breathing heavily. Having wet dreams about your best friend isn't beautiful in the least. Thankfully Ikkaku is too oblivious to notice my sudden interest, but I fear others are starting to catch on. The first to figure it out was Rangiku, but thankfully I was able to shut her up before she had the chance to tell everyone in the Seireitei. I told her I'd tell everyone who she liked, the threat worked and she promised to remain silent. I have to be more careful, she managed to get me to tell her on one of our many drinking parties. A lot of the upper ranked shinigami went out every week to go drinking, Rangiku had caught me staring at Ikkaku and asked if I liked him. Unfortunately I had already consumed some alcoholic beverages and was slightly buzzed, I had inadvertently told her yes. Now the second person to figure it out was Yachiru, and she was a whole lot harder to shut up. It had taken 3 full months pay worth of candy and a promise to let her borrow my combs before she would agree. It wasn't till this afternoon however that I learned how wide spread the knowledge was. I had ran into the shinigami women's society and then I had learned that every upper ranked female shinigami knew of my feelings. It's mortifying! At least they promised not to tell anyone, and they all agreed to help me even though I didn't want it. I don't want to force my feelings on Ikkaku if he doesn't feel the same, I don't want him to hate me or reject me because of it. These depressing thoughts are not good for one so beautiful as myself so I will sign off for today. Bye.

Upon reading the words Ikkaku froze, a faint flush to his cheeks. He stared at the book in shock, one sentence going through his mind over and over again... 'Having wet dreams about your best friend isn't beautiful in the least.' He was shocked to say the least, he never knew that Yumichika thought of him in _that_ way.

His face heated up even more as the thought completely sunk in, his mouth hanging open like a fish gasping for water. He swallowed thickly, not sure how to react to that bit of information.

As his mind slowly came to grips with that fact another thing about the journal entry drew his attention. Rangiku knew of Yumichika's feelings? Better yet the shinigami women's society knew?! What in the hell? Was Ikkaku that dense!?

He thought back, trying to pinpoint when Yumichika's feelings had to start originating. He than came to a revelation, he should've known! If he had paid more attention to his friend than he would've spotted it from the main beginning. It had been so obvious.

But he hadn't noticed it, he had to be the dense fool that couldn't see something so clear right before his eyes. It made him feel horrible, not paying attention to Yumichika enough to spot something like this. It had literally ate his friend up from the inside and Ikkaku hadn't been the wiser.

He put the book back into his pocket, not feeling up to reading anymore. The words he read had shaken him to the core, even worse when it was he himself that cause a large part of Yumichika's misery.

And yet his friend still liked him, when Ikkaku himself would've given up on himself. He felt even worse then before, more tired than he was just a bit ago.

He sat back further into his chair, watching Yumichika breath steadily. "Yumichika you idiot." He breathed out lightly, "I could never hate you."

The form on the bed didn't stir, there wasn't even a change of breathing. Yumichika remained in his prone state, hooked up to machines.

"Hey Ikkaku?" The voice carried through the door and he looked up. Peeking her head in the doorway was Ren, and she had a very angry look on her face.

"What?" He asked as she entered, followed closely by Hanataro. Hanataro himself was slightly beat up, bruises dotted his arms and scratches littered his skin. Ikkaku raised his eyebrows at that. "What happened to you Hanataro?"

Hanataro was about to speak before Ren burst out in anger, "I'll tell you what happened!" She said with venom, "You need to tell your little 11th division buddies to leave the 4th division alone!" She hissed, which made Ikkaku look up in surprise.

"Calm down Ren-san," Hanataro said trying to calm the outraged shinigami down. Said shinigami turned to him with a glare, the girl's blue eyes literally flashing.

"No I will not calm down!" She shouted, her teeth gritting in anger. Hanataro huddled back slightly at her glare, she than turned to Ikkaku. "Do you know where I found Hanataro this morning?" She asked angrily.

"Where," Ikkaku said to her. He was still trying to figure out where his own division came into the picture, that was before he realized what the 11's like to do to the 4's.

"I found Hanataro outside of the 4th barracks unconscious this morning!" She said angrily, "He was beat up and left abandoned outside."

"What?" Ikkaku said dead serious, his eyes going hard. He than turned to Hanataro, "Who was it?" He asked the smaller shinigami.

"I-I don't remember really," He said. "I didn't pay any particular attention to them," He said with a smile. Though it looked strained.

"Ren," Ikkaku said and she turned toward him. "I need a pen and a piece of paper immediately." She nodded before leaving to fetch the requested items. Hanataro just looked between them helplessly.

As Ren returned with the items she handed them to Ikkaku. He wrote out a quick note and handed it to Ren, "I need you to deliver this to Captain Zaraki."

She nodded again before taking off, Hanataro just stared after her. "You don't have to do anything," He reassured. "I'm used to it."

"You shouldn't be used to it," Ikkaku said angrily. "Only the weak pick on those weaker than themselves." Ikkaku replied. "Especially if it's a healer that helps them out after they get themselves beat up."

"What did you write in the note?" Hanataro asked curiously, wanting to know what Ikkaku was going to do to the unfortunate 11th division members.

"I just gave the Captain a suggestion to have another surprise intensive training day." Ikkaku replied with a small smirk, Hanataro cringed. The 4th division knew how bad those training days were, especially because they had to heal most of them afterwards.

"But that would just give the 4th division more work than we need." Hanataro commented, "I don't want everyone in the 4th to suffer just because of me."

"Don't worry Hanataro," Ikkaku said as his smirk grew wider. "I specifically wrote in the note that none of them be sent to the 4th," He than chuckled evilly. "Let it be a training exercise in suffering through injuries without the constant help of healers. Like endurance training, just to a larger degree."

"That's evil Ikkaku-san," Hanataro commented.

"I know," He said with a chuckle. "But picking on those lower then you is cowardly, it is not something we want in the 11th division. It also helps that the captain likes these training exercises, it lets him let loose a little more than usual."

Before Hanataro could comment however a knock on the door drew their attention. "Madarame-san?" Lieutenant Isane asked as she opened the door. "I came to check up on Ayasegawa-san this morning and... Hanataro-san!? What happened to you!?" She shouted suddenly, dropping her medical bag to check on Hanataro.

Hanataro himself blushed as she grabbed his shoulder and forced him onto the bed that Ikkaku was given to borrow. He went along meekly, too shy to even think of rebelling.

Ikkaku who was watching the whole ordeal was surprised to see Hanataro's reaction to Isane's attention. He was flustered, and blushing slightly. And when she opened Hanataro's shinigami robes to get to his torso Ikkaku was sure the poor healer would faint.

That was when Ikkaku realized it, Hanataro liked the silver headed lieutenant. He wouldn't have caught it if he hadn't been paying attention and he found himself chiding himself again. It was so obvious you had to be blind to miss it, and yet if it wasn't for what he read not to long ago he wouldn't have noticed.

That depressed Ikkaku slightly, since when had he been so oblivious? As he thought about that Isane had evidently finished bandaging and healing poor Hanataro who's face was still a light red.

"What happed to you?" She asked as Hanataro rearranged his robes, she went back to pick up the medical bag she dropped when she had seen Hanataro.

"Nothing of interest, so don't worry about it." He said with a small smile, hoping that she would drop it.

"Nothing of interest doesn't put bruises the size of my fist on your torso, so please tell me the truth." She said with a strong look, one Ikkaku was sure she learned from Unohana. How a look could be strong was beyond him, only Unohana was able to make that happen. And evidently her lieutenant as well.

"He got cornered by some 11th division members last night," Ikkaku spoke up for him. Hanataro looked a little to shaken from the look to reply.

"11th members? Again?" She asked in anger, "I have to go report this to Captain Unohana. They need to be reprimanded for this."

"Don't worry about it," Ikkaku replied.

"Why shouldn't I? Just because they are your comrads doesn't mean they get to get away with it scot free." She said with a slightly angry tone.

"It's not that," Ikkaku replied. "Action against them should be beginning soon, my method will work a lot more efficiently than yours I can tell you that." He said with another smirk.

"Your method?" She asked confused.

"Intensive training," She winced at that. "Without being allowed to come back to the 4th division to be healed." That made her gape at him. "That way they'll learn to respect those who take away their misery and keeps them fighting for another day."

"That's so evil," She commented moving over to Yumichika's bed.

"That's what I said," Hanataro muttered as he finished fixing the front of his shinigami robes. His face still holding a twinge of red.

"Hey Ikkaku!" Ren shouted as she returned, stopping briefly to gasp for breath. "The note was delivered, and received by Captain Zaraki. He said he'd begin on them right away," She said with a smirk. She had read the note on the way to deliver it.

"Good," Ikkaku said seriously. The captain was going to beat them all into exhaustion and many of them won't be able to walk for a week afterwards. The first time Ikkaku went through one of his captain's intensive training regiments he hadn't been able to walk for 3 days. Surprising though Yumichika had been up and about the day after, even though he had received the same treatment as Ikkaku.

"Oh hey Lieutenant Isane," Ren said suddenly when she caught sight of the silver headed shinigami. "I didn't see you there."

"Hello Ren-san," She greeted. "I came to check up on Ayasegawa-san today." She said as she pulled a thermometer out of the bag.

"Is he doing any better?" Ikkaku asked her, she just shook her head.

"He's in the same shape as he was yesterday," She said sadly to him. "Though his heartbeat is a little higher than normal, which in his current state isn't so odd."

"Oh," Ikkaku said slightly deflated.

"Don't feel so bad though," She said with a small smile. "He's doing better these last few days then before he arrived, so it means he's getting better."

That made Ikkaku smile as well that was until Ren cut in, "Yeah baldy." She said with a smirk, "Don't give up your hopes yet."

"I am not bald!" He shouted at her which made them all laugh.

"Than what are you?" She asked, "Because you have no hair on your head."

"My hair was shaven off, I am not bald." He muttered rebelliously in the perfect image of an angry 4 year old, which only made them all laugh even harder.

"Give it up Ikkaku," Ren said with a smile. "You can't win against all of us," he sighed at her words, knowing she was right.

"True, though I shouldn't have to fight against you all." Ikkaku muttered, and everyone just laughed again.

As Isane finished up with checking on Yumichika she then proceeded to drag Hanataro out of the room, saying she was taking him to the captain. Ikkaku cringed... Poor poor Hanataro.

Ren herself then made her exit, saying she had a lot of cleaning duties to perform before the day officially started. As he watched her exit he was glad that he had friends to turn to while Yumichika was out. Because without Yumichika who he had usually went to with his problems, he would've went insane without the others.

-------------

Ikkaku moved uncomfortably in his chair, shifting in hopes of relieving the tension in his back. Sitting still in a wooden chair for almost 24 hours was murder on his back.

It was now dark, the sun having set a few hours before. He glanced at the clock to see that it was 11 o'clock, meaning it had been almost a full day since he read that journal entry that had changed everything.

Earlier not more than an hour ago Yachiru had come in to give him news about the training day. Evidently every division member had collapsed only after the 5th hour into training. Yachiru then informed him that she found out who it was that beat up Hanataro, she had been listening to the members while they trained. Evidently it was that new group that had joined just last month from the academy, Ikkaku made a mental note to have a little chat with them after he returns.

Yachiru then happily handed him some food she prepared for him, he was glad. If it wasn't for her Ikkaku would've starved by now, she had brought him food regularly for days.

He smiled at the thought of his lieutenant, though he could do without the biting on his head. He was now supporting a few bite marks on his head, each tooth mark clearly visible. Though he hadn't tried to bat her off with as much vigor as usual, she had brought him food after all.

"Hey Ikkaku?" The voice at the door surprised him and he looked up to see Hanataro standing in the doorway. He was bandaged all over, looking a little like a mummy.

"Yes Hanataro?" He asked, confused to why the small shinigami was here so late. Most of the shinigami were back to their barracks and in bed by 11, that was unless they went out partying.

"I heard from Ren that you helped her out when she had problems, so I wanted to ask if you could help me as well?" He said with a faint blush.

Ikkaku sighed, what was he? A matchmaker? Ikkaku had never known that he was that good at helping people through their relationship problems. "What is it you want to know?"

Hanataro squirmed nervously, his fingers fidgeting nervously. "There is someone I like, but I don't know how to get her to pay attention to me."

"Could this person be Lieutenant Isane by any chance?" Ikkaku asked suddenly and got his answer when the shinigami's face turned a dark red.

"How did you know!?" He asked suddenly, quite surprised at that.

"It took me a while but I figured it out," Ikkaku said suddenly. Though he should've seen it way before now, that thought depressed Ikkaku for some reason.

"Oh," He said slight. He started squirming some more, "So will you help me?"

"What do you need help with exactly?" Ikkaku asked, surprising himself.

"I want her to notice me," He said sadly. "Not just some other healer she works with. But I don't know how to do that."

"First off you have to get her to notice you," Ikkaku said just going with the flow. Hanataro nodded, "And then you have to prove to her that you're just not some other healer she works with, understand?"

Hanataro nodded again, "But how would I do that?"

Ikkaku scratched his chin in thought, "Well first you have to do something to catch her attention. Something like give her flowers or something. Girls like that right?"

Hanataro nodded, "But I don't think I could give them to her." He said more nervous than he was prior, "I don't know if I have the courage to."

"Well then send them to her anonymously as a secret admirer." Ikkaku suggested, Hanataro had a look of realization cover his face. "That way you don't have to physically give them to her," Ikkaku said with a smile.

"That's a good idea!" He said suddenly. "I can't give up that way!" But then he thought about it more, "What do I do after that?"

"Ask her to dinner or something next." Ikkaku replied with a smile, "Something she'd enjoy.

Hanataro nodded, before he seemed to think of something. "But I'm to nervous, what if I'm not able to ask her?" That made Ikkaku think, how could the shy Hanataro ask his lieutenant out on a date?

"Then try sending a note, so you can't chicken out." Ikkaku told him, "And send it anonymous to make it seem as though you're not insensitive. Sign it from a secret admirer again."

"Okay," Hanataro said. You could literally see him mentally writing this down, "What should I do after that?"

"Get a reservation at a nice restaurant and dress up nicely." Ikkaku said, not really recognizing himself anymore. Evidently Yumichika had rubbed off on him more than he had first thought.

"Okay," Hanataro said again, mentally taking notes. "Then what?"

"Compliment her, and other things that girls like." Ikkaku said, he was officially fresh out of ideas. "I don't know what more to do, I guess just go with the flow."

Hanataro nodded yet again, "Thank you Ikkaku." He said with a smile, "Ren was right. You do know what to say to make me feel better." That made Ikkaku raise an eyebrow, "Though you don't seem the type to go to for these problems." Ikkaku's eyebrows raised even further at that and Hanataro's eyes widened when he realized what he said. "Not that it's bad or anything."

"Don't worry about it, I don't think I'm someone who should know this stuff." Ikkaku said seriously, "I'm actually surprising myself as much as you. I actually think that Yumichika had started to rub off on me, without my knowledge at that."

Hanataro nodded at that comment with a small laugh, "Well I'm off to bed than." He said with a wave as he proceeded to the door.

"At least you don't have to worry about any 11th division members bothering you as you head to the barracks." Ikkaku said with a laugh, "They are all probably to miserable to even move."

Hanataro smiled gratefully again before exiting, closing the door behind him. Leaving Ikkaku alone with the comatose Yumichika, who still hasn't moved. Ikkaku thought back on the conversation he just had with the smaller shinigami, surprised that even the 7th seat was having relationship problems. It seemed like everyone was these days, though with his own it was on a much more serious note.

With Yumichika comatose and Ikkaku struggling with the all knew feelings their relationship was far from perfect. Though if Yumichika never woke up then they would never have a relationship.

He sighed again as he sat back into his seat, hopefully trying to get comfortable. He really should go back to the bed but he couldn't bring himself to leave Yumichika's side, especially after learning Yumichika's feelings for him.

He sighed before bringing the journal out again, staring at it critically. He was almost done with it, telling Ikkaku that it was getting closer to the current date.

Opening it he stared at the page he left off, almost to nervous to read it. After the last one he read he was almost to scared to read what more could happen. Taking a deep breath for encouragement he continued to read.

As Ikkaku read through the pages getting ever closer to the end he slowly relaxed. Reading the days that went past through Yumichika's point of view, it was actually quite interesting.

But as Ikkaku hit the last page he froze, the date being the one right before the large attack on the Seireitei. He straightened up in his chair, becoming more intent on the passage.

Dear Journal,

Lately nothing has been happening in the Seireitei, meaning it was boring to most. Ikkaku is going crazy, the boredom is too much for him I'm afraid. I myself however enjoy the quiet and can spend my day thinking about my current obsession which just happens to be Ikkaku himself. I finally figured out my feelings for him, it seems that I have moved past a crush into full blown love. Yes I wrote that right, Love with a capital L and everything. They say love is beautiful but I'm starting to disagree. Lately however I've been trying to find a way to express my feelings toward Ikkaku, I mean he deserves to know about them. I can never hope for him to return them, but I can let them out. I mean, keeping them bottled up inside is not very beautiful. So I have decided to tell him... tomorrow. I'll tell him and hope he won't laugh in my face, because I don't think I'd be able take it. The one person I love in this world is Ikkaku, and if he rejects me than I don't think I will be able to face anyone anymore. And yet knowing what the risk is I still have to tell him, it isn't only my feelings that come into play here. So I'm going to tell him tomorrow, and hope against all hope that he won't laugh or anything at me.

Ikkaku stared at the journal in surprise, Yumichika loved him? Not just like but full blown love? It shocked Ikkaku, to the point in which it had him reanalyzing his own feelings.

He didn't know if what he felt for his friend went as deep as love but he did know he had a deep affection for Yumichika.

But another thing that bothered him was Yumichika's fear that he would laugh or reject him. Did Yumichika actually think this? Did he honestly think that Ikkaku would laugh at him for something so personal? Or reject him?

Truthfully though he hadn't given Yumichika any reasons to think that he wouldn't laugh at him. Ikkaku did laugh when Yumichika was thought of as a chick.

That still made him angry, he shoved the journal into his pocket. Sitting forward he stared at his friend, his normal brown eyes intense.

"How could you think that?" He said to the prone figure, not at all surprised when he didn't react. "How could you think that I could possible laugh as something so important?" Ikkaku continued, his voice thick.

The figure didn't respond, but Ikkaku had a feeling that Yumichika was listening. He didn't know why but he felt like his friend could hear him. He felt his eyes burn but he ignored it, too intent on the emotions burning inside of him.

"How could you think I could hate you for something you had no control over?" He looked down in sadness, "How could you believe I'd reject you for something like that?"

Ikkaku quickly stood up, to worked up to remain sitting down. "All of this time you never told me that you felt like this, and when you finally decide to tell me this happens to you?"

"Especially considering what I learned about myself, and my own feelings." He said, continuing his rant. "It's only been recently that I've discovered these feelings, and they are confusing me."

"I'm horrible at expressing my feelings, I never really tried to before." He said, "So when I try to find words for them they never come out right."

"And when I think about how you protected me it makes me hurt worse, because you almost killed yourself to save me when you shouldn't need to." He gritted his teeth, "I hate that I had to put you in the position to protect me. It feels as though I'm suppose to be the one protecting you."

He than took a deep shuddering breath, "I hate that there is nothing I can do to help you. I can't just go kill something and make everything right, the only thing I can do is sit here and watch you lay there. You're slowly wasting away before my very eyes, and it's killing me."

He wiped his eyes, surprised to see tears on his arm. "It hurts to know that I'm partically responsible for your coma, that it was my fault you're in this predicament." He than swallowed thickly, "All these new emotions are playing havoc on me and driving me insane."

"And I'm afraid that my feelings go deeper then I had originally thought, and I don't know what it means." He spoke a little quieter, his voice filled with conflicting emotions.

"My feeling has changed and I don't know what it means," Ikkaku murmured. "You're the one that is more in tune to emotions, I bet you'd understand what this meant. But without you I don't know what to do."

"I never realized until recently how big a part your existence played in my life, but I've figured it out as I waited for you to wake up." He said still facing away from the bed with his face bowed. "And your a very important person in my life, I can't even begin to image life without you in it."

"And when I think of you never waking up..." His voice cracked at the end, his throat closed up. "It scares me like nothing has ever in this world."

"Ikkaku..?" A hoarse voice asked, weak and thready. Ikkaku's eyes widened at the word, his entire body froze. That voice, one he hadn't heard in so long startled him. He quickly turned around, surprised by what he saw.

"Yumichika?"

End


	5. The Turmoil

**Authors note:** Hello! Sorry for the long wait, but I have been taken hostage by my sisters and forced to play Left 4 Dead for the last few days. But now I'm free! Not sure for how long but at least I finished this chapter! I would like to thank Angel015, Lolajude164, the-wicked-zutarians, DeepSeaGuardian95, and foxyoai123 for their lovely reviews. Now for the long awaited chapter 5!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach, if I did you could bet I wouldn't be on Fanfiction. But… I do own Ren so at least I have something.

* * *

"Yumichika?" Ikkaku asked turning quickly, afraid that his mind was playing tricks on him. But there on the hospital bed sat Yumichika, who was looking a little worse for wear. "Yumichika!"

Ikkaku was across the room instantaneously, sweeping his friend up in a hug. Yumichika himself was shocked at the compassionate attack, his face flushed.

Ikkaku moved back, his hands still resting on Yumichika's shoulders. It was almost as if he was afraid that Yumichika would disappear if he let go. "I'm so glad you're awake!" He said, "I thought you never would wake up again."

Yumichika's eyebrows drew together, "You know worrying gives you such an ugly expression." Yumichika said with his normal haughtiness, but beneath there was a smile. Ikkaku burst out laughing at the familiar attitude, glad he was able to hear it once again.

"Oh that right!" Ikkaku said jumping up as he realized it. "I have to go get Captain Unohana!" Ikkaku shouted taking off towards the door. Yumichika called out to him but in his rush to get the captain he didn't hear.

"Ikkaku!" Yumichika tried again, gaining the bald shinigami's attention that time. "What you said a few minutes ago..." He started, "Did you mean any of it?"

Ikkaku smiled his hand still on the doorknob, "Every word." Ikkaku replied, which made Yumichika smile softly. "Now wait here while I get the Captain okay?" He nodded and Ikkaku ran out the door.

Ren who was walking down the hallway was almost bowled over by said bald shinigami as he ran past her at a literal sprint. She had to do a very complex set of moves to keep herself from toppling over, she was actually proud of herself as she regained her footing.

"Hey baldy!" She shouted after him, "You almost knocked me over!" But as she watched he didn't acknowledger her and kept on running, with a curse she chased after him. "What has you running and almost knocking me over!" She said as she ran by his side.

"It's Yumichika!" Ikkaku said, and for a split second Ren was afraid something had happened to him. That was until she saw Ikkaku's smile, "He's awake!"

"That's awesome!" She said with a smile, "I'm so glad he finally woke up!" They both proceeded through the hallways, running as fast as possible.

"Yeah me too!" He said with a large smile, "I'm getting Captain Unohana now." He said and she nodded in understanding, the captain had ordered them to tell her as soon as Yumichika woke up.

As they burst into the lobby on their way to the Captain's office, Hanataro noticed them running full out. "Guys what's wrong?" He asked as they sprinted past them, neither acknowledge his question. That confused the smaller shinigami and he got up to follow, afraid that something was wrong.

Captain Unohana was sitting at her desk drinking tea when 2 frantic shinigami burst into her office, followed by a third. "What is wrong?" She asked, but neither could reply because they were breathing too hard. Hanataro just looked confused so he really couldn't answer.

"Captain Unohana..." Ikkaku said between gasps. "It's Yumichika, he's awake." He continued, Hanataro looked surprised behind him.

"Ayasegawa-san is awake?" Hanataro asked shocked, Ikkaku nodded.

Captain Unohana stood up, "I'll go to him now." She said before she looked at them, "Why did you not flashstep here instead of running the entire way?"

Ikkaku and Ren looked shocked at that, before they both dropped their heads. They had completely forgot that they could do that, the captain smiled at them before turning to Hanataro. "I need you to retrieve the Lieutenant, I will need her when I examine Ayasegawa-san." She said and he nodded, then before their eyes she disappeared. Flashstepping towards Yumichika's room.

Ikkaku and Ren followed quickly behind, flashstepping after her. Just as they arrived they saw Unohana attending to Yumichika, her hand already glowing with reiatsu. He was weakly sitting up, his breathing already shallow. Even just sitting up was taxing on his strength, his body was that badly affected.

As Yumichika caught sight of them he gaped, pointing to Ren he spoke. "I know you." Ren smiled at him and Ikkaku only looked confused.

"I'm glad you remember me Ayasegawa-san," She said as her smile grew.

"Wait how do you know each other?" Ikkaku asked, growing more confused by the minute. How could Yumichika possibly know Ren? They had been together for almost forever and he doesn't remember meeting Ren until the battle.

"It was the day we graduated from the academy, you ended up going off to spar some idiot who challenged you." Yumichika replied, Ikkaku nodded as he remembered. "I saw her writing in a book, and I ended up talking with her" He explained and Ren smiled again. Ikkaku froze as he remembered the first passage of Yumichika's journal, he would never had guessed that the girl had been Ren.

"Yup!" Ren said with a smile. "My name is Ren by the way."

Yumichika didn't get to reply however because Hanataro and Isane came through the doorway right afterwards cutting him off. "I'm here Captain," Isane replied before looking over to Yumichika. "Ah Ayasegawa-san, it's good to see you awake." She said with a smile. Yumichika just nodded, glad for her show of concern.

"Ayasegawa-san," Unohana said gaining his attention. "During your coma did you remember hearing anything that was said around you?"

"Yes, why?" He asked in confusion.

"I need to know what you heard, that way I can gauge how aware you were during your coma. It also helps tell me how much your body has healed."

Yumichika nodded in understanding, "The first thing I remember hearing was Ikkaku yelling about something." At the words Ikkaku looked startled, "He sounded angry so I tried to wake up to help him."

"But?" She asked as he left the sentence hanging.

"I wasn't able to, and I ended up falling deeper then I was before." He paused, "It was a lot worse there. It was colder and darker."

Ikkaku looked stricken by that, it was his fault that Yumichika's coma got worse. He felt horrible for it, for making his friend suffer more then he would've.

"I also remember Ikkaku telling me I better not die, it was when I thought I would." At that he looked down, "I remember I was slipping away. That was until Ikkaku had told me that dying like this would be an ugly way to go." He said with a huff and playful glare at Ikkaku.

Ren turned to Ikkaku at that with her eyebrows raised, "What?" He asked before shrugging. "I had to say something to make him stop dying. And using that word in relations to him is the only way to make him do it."

"Okay, what next?" Unohana asked, curious as to see what else he remembered.

"The next thing I remember was someone calling Ikkaku a bald mummy, it made me laugh because it felt so familiar." At that Ikkaku growled slightly while glaring at Ren, she only smirked at him. "But it was even funnier when Hanataro-san pulled rank on her," At that Ikkaku smirked at Ren. Ren just glared back at Ikkaku.

Isane raised an eyebrow towards Hanataro at that, which caused him to blush. Out of all the people in the Seireitei Hanataro was the least likely to pull that kind of stunt.

"What else?"

"I remember Ikkaku talking to me, something about not protecting me. He was interrupted however and I heard him talking to Ren, but I don't remember exactly what was said." Yumichika commented and noticed the look on Ren's face, her face was flushed slightly and she looked uncomfortable. He knew that she didn't want everyone to know what he had heard so he kept it to himself.

Ikkaku looked slightly relieved as well, he knew Yumichika knew about their conversation. He didn't know how he knew, but he did. And he was glad he didn't go around telling anyone about it. Ren had that conversation with him in confidence, meaning he wasn't allowed to tell anyone.

"What else do you remember?" Unohana said, catching the looks passed between them. She didn't look into it though, it was none of her business.

"I then remember Ren-san coming in and complaining about someone beating up Hanataro-san." He said with a slightly angry look. "I also heard that it was our division that was responsible, and I also heard their punishment."

At that Unohana raised her eyebrows in confusion. she had heard about the beating up but she hadn't heard about their punishment. "What punishment?" She asked.

Yumichika looked to Ikkaku, and Ikkaku sighed. "I told the captain that it was about time for another surprise intensive training day."

Captain Unohana raised her eyebrows at that, "But there hasn't been anyone in for days." She said, which made Ikkaku sigh again.

"I suggested to the captain to not let them come in for treatment, almost like a training in stamina. Let them learn to deal with injures because you never know when you won't have a healer." Unohana smiled serenely at that, it was a fitting punishment in her opinion.

"But wouldn't that punish those who weren't involved?" Hanataro asked, "There was only about 4 that beat up on me. I don't want others to suffer for something they didn't do."

"For one thing all of them had most likely picked on a healer at one point, we shouldn't have let it deteriorate to this point." Ikkaku muttered and Yumichika looked at him with a knowing look. "And plus now they will know to stop their comrades when they try to do stupid stuff, it isn't honorable in the least to pick on those weaker then you."

She nodded at that before turning to Yumichika, "What else do you remember." She asked, it sounded like he heard quite a bit.

"I remember Ikkaku and Hanataro-san talking about something," He continued intentionally being vague. Isane was in the room after all, "Hanataro then left." Hanataro blushed suddenly as he realized what conversation Yumichika was talking about, no one noticed his blush though.

"Okay," Unohana said. "Anything else?"

"Ikkaku was talking to me," Yumichika said suddenly. His head dropped, "He sounded upset and sad so I tried to wake up to help him." At his words everone in the room looked vaguely saddened, even Captain Unohana looked affected. "So I woke up." He said.

"That's good," She said. "You remember quite a bit from your coma, that is a very good in coma patients." She said serenely, "You're reiatsu isn't as strong as it used to be but it should get better soon."

Yumichika looked relieved at that but before he could comment an interruption from the doorway drew their attention. "Feather brows!" The happy voice said suddenly before he was tackled by a pink bundle known as Yachiru, after he recovered he looked up to see his captain standing in the doorway.

"Captain?" Ikkaku said suddenly, "What are you doing here?" He asked, Zaraki merely rolled his eyes before letting out a grumble.

"Earlier today was Captain Zaraki's monthly physical," Captain Unohana said as she stood up completely. "But he is quite late."

"It's not my fault," Zaraki said. "Yachiru got us lost on the way here again, so we just arrived. When we couldn't find you in your office Yachiru kept bugging me to go see Ikkaku before heading back to the barracks." Now that Ikkaku was looking for it he could see a subtle uncomfortableness in his captain when talking to Captain Unohana. He randomly shifted his body weight slightly every now and then, and his voice had a different tone to it. "So we came back here to see Ikkaku before heading home, then I was going to come back tomorrow for my physical."

"Ahh," She said in understanding. Yachiru's navigation skills were legendary among the Seireitei. "We'll reschedule it to tomorrow, as you can see we have a more pressing matter to attend to." She said motioning towards Yumichika who had a very happy Yachiru hugging him tightly, it looked like he was starting to have trouble breathing.

"Yachiru," Zaraki warned gaining her attention. "He just woke up, you don't want to put him in a coma again do you?" She shook her head before jumping back to Kenpachi, taking up residence on his shoulder once again.

"Captain," Yumichika said in greeting. He was nervous, not knowing where he stood with his captain after the revelation of his Zanpakuto.

"I wanted to talk to you about your Zanpakuto." Zaraki said and Yumichika swallowed thickly, preparing himself for the worst.

"I know Captain," He started but he was cut off.

"I don't like your sword's true form, but I don't particularly care. As long as you don't use that ability in an honorable fight I don't mind." He said and Yumichika sighed in relief.

"Thanks captain," He tried again but he was cut off. Again.

"Also you managed to get 5th seat, would be fourth if you weren't vain, without using you're full shikai." He said seriously, "That takes strength and strength is the one thing we admire in the 11th district."

Yumichika stared at Kenpachi for a few minutes, his mind coming to grips with what he just heard. His captain had just said he was strong and worthy of being in the 11th division, Yumichika had never expected this kind of reaction.

"Yeah feather brows! I think your Zanpakuto was pretty!" Yachiru said with a smile, Yumichika's features softened at her words. "Even if Kenny doesn't!"

"Thank you Lieutenant." He said with a small smile, watching his captain stare out of the corner of his eye at the small girl. Even his captain who normally had a very hard face would softened at the sight of the little ball of energy they had in their division. Yumichika himself wouldn't have it any other way.

Neither would Ikkaku, as he sat watching the exchange between his captain and Lieutenant. Yachiru was known as the adopted daughter of Kenpachi in the division, and she was their little sister. He couldn't even begin to envision their division without her in it. He turned back around to see Captain Unohana watching the pair with a small smile, her eyes softened ever so slightly. That made Ikkaku take a step back in surprise, Yumichika noted this movement but didn't comment.

"Well I guess me and Yachiru will head back now," Kenpachi said. "It's good that you're finally awake," He said as they got ready to depart. "We really need Ikkaku to stop sulking around here and to come in, it's not good to have our 3rd seat out so long." Ikkaku just shrugged at that when Yumichika looked his way. "We also need you to come in as well," He said seriously. "None of those idiots want to take a shower because they know you won't be there to threaten them to."

At the words Yumichika scrunched his face up, it surprised him to know he was the only reason that the 11th division showed anything near good hygiene.

"Bye!" Yachiru shouted as they left. Everyone gave their farewells, waving as they left. Captain Unohana then turned back to Yumichika, retaking his temperature.

"I hate to cut this time short, but I really need to do a very thorough examination on Yumichika." Unohana said, "I need to see how his reiatsu levels are doing and his internal systems."

"So?" Ikkaku said.

"I need the room to be cleared when I do this," She commented looking over at Ikkaku and the others. The face she made was normal but for some reason it terrified Ikkaku.

"Yes Captain Unohana!" Ikkaku said scrambling up and towards the doorway, Ren and Hanataro were already gone. No sign of either of them, they were gone that fast. Yumichika looked at him with something that said 'Help me!', Ikkaku felt terrible for abandoning his best friend but he didn't want to chance Unohana's anger.

So as he stepped out into the hallway the door shut behind him, leaving him out in the hallway. He sat down against the wall, his head dropping. Tired after the emotional roller coaster he had suffered today, but he was so glad that Yumichika was finally awake. So glad.

* * *

It was almost 10 o'clock pm when Hanataro headed towards Yumichika's rooms, a small smile painted on his lips. Accomplishment written on his face, which was unusual for the small shinigami.

Though the look faded when he made it to the outside of Yumichika's room, surprised at what he saw. Ikkaku was prowling back and forth in front of the door, growling slightly under his breath.

"Ikkaku?" Hanataro asked as he watched the bald shinigami stalk back and forth, confused at what was happening. Yumichika was awake, so he should be happy.

"Hanataro?" Ikkaku asked as he came to a stop, he had been so intent on his thoughts that he hadn't even heard the smaller shinigami walk up. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to check up on you guys," He said. "What happened?" Hanataro asked, motioning towards Ikkaku's place out in the hallway. He would figure Ikkaku would be inside, watching over Yumichika like the proverbial hawk.

"Yumichika kicked me out of his room!" Ikkaku growled angerly, sitting down heavily against the wall. "He won't let anyone else in besides Captain Unohana and Lieutenant Isane."

"Why?!" Hanataro asked worriedly, it didn't sound like Yumichika to kick anyone out. Especially Ikkaku, his best friend.

"He evidently found a mirror this morning and saw himself," Ikkaku said with a growl. "He then refused to let anyone see him in such 'an ugly state'."

Hanataro wasn't really that surprised anymore after that sentence, Yumichika's vanity was legendary. He felt sorry for Ikkaku, he felt even worse when he remembered what he was feeling happy about.

"I've seen him like that for over a week!" Ikkaku said continuing his rant, "It's not like it's going to change my opinion of him!"

Hanataro stood on the side, not sure how to comfort the obviously distraught shinigami. Ikkaku was obviously upset at being left outside, not able to watch over Yumichika like he had for the last few days.

"Was there something else you wanted to say to me?" Ikkaku asked him suddenly, drawing Hanataro out of his thoughts. "I mean you didn't come just to check on us did you?"

"No," Hanataro said looking down slightly. His face started to flush and Ikkaku suddenly realized, a smile spread across his face.

"This has to do with Lieutenant Isane doesn't it?" He asked suddenly and Hanataro's face flushed again, a small smile spreading across his features.

"I sent her the flowers," He said softly. Ikkaku's smile grew larger, happy for the shy shinigami. "Anonymously of course but I sent them."

"Awesome Hanataro!" Ikkaku said, glad for the distraction from his normal problem. "Now all you do is wait to see if she accepts them, and then send a note asking her to dinner."

Hanataro nodded, though a little shaky. The thought of asking his Lieutenant out still caused him a lot of nervousness, to the point of almost hyperventilating.

Ikkaku noticing his nervousness sighed, "Listen Hanataro." He said catching the smaller shinigami's attention. "Do you like Isane?"

Hanataro nodded vigorously, "More then I could think possible." He said softly.

"Do you think she's worth dating?" He asked next and Hanataro looked at him like he was crazy.

"Of course!" He said, "She's nice and considerate. She treats me like I'm not a weakling, and she always includes me in things I get left out of." He said with a small smile.

"If you like her that much you should be able to take her out, if you're determined enough your nervousness shouldn't get in the way." Ikkaku told him and Hanataro looked as though he just realized something life changing.

"You mean that I should just focus on her and not let my nervousness effect me?" He asked.

"She's worth it right?" Ikkaku asked.

"Yes, she is." Hanataro said, his smile growing larger. "Thanks Ikkaku!" He said with a large smile, glad that his friend was there to help him.

"Good," Ikkaku said with a smile. He stood up to stretch, glad that he had someone to talk to. It got tiring just stalking back and forth in front of the door constantly.

"Well I'm going to head to bed," Hanataro told him. "I need to start gathering courage to send the Lieutenant that note soon," Ikkaku nodded as he left.

"Bye Hanataro!" Ikkaku said as the shinigami headed out, kind of sad to see the only person he had to talk to leave. But he was glad that Hanataro was finally making a move towards Isane, even going as far as to fight his nervousness.

He found himself standing all alone in the hallway, he sighed leaning back against the wall. He debated with himself if he should go back to the barracks, he could really do with a shower.

But he hated the thought of leaving Yumichika, even if he wasn't allowed in his room. But as his hands brushed the book still held in his pocket, it made the decision for him.

He really should replace it before Yumichika gets released from the hospital, if he found out that Ikkaku read it... Ikkaku didn't even want to imagine what he would do to him, it was that frightening.

So knocking on Yumichika's door he waited for his response, "Yes?" Yumichika asked. Ikkaku was surprised to hear a note of shakiness in his voice.

"Hey I'm heading back to the barracks for a bit," He said and he was sure he heard Yumichika suck in a sharp breath. Ikkaku was glad that he wasn't totally oblivious to his presence, "I'm going to shower and change. I'll be back after that okay?"

"Sure," Yumichika replied and Ikkaku walked off. He was still sad that Yumichika wouldn't let him in, kind of mad as well. But he couldn't stay angry at his friend, because he somewhat understood what Yumichika was going through. Well, didn't understand it but he did know that his friend wouldn't want anyone to see him in that condition.

He walked the streets ignoring those around him, even those who were glad to see him okay. He was too wrapped in his laying around, many of them still injured from the intensive training they had not to long ago.

Ikkaku felt himself smirk at them, they looked at him vaguely uneasy. "Men," Ikkaku said as he passed them. "I see you all enjoyed your intensive training."

They all groaned, many of them falling backwards. Ikkaku just smirked again and took off, his mood higher then it was not to long ago.

As he made it to the barracks he took note of how dusty their room had gotten. Quickly cleaning up a little he then placed Yumichika's journal back to where he found it before headed to take a shower.

While standing under the spray he pondered absently on Yumichika's reaction to kicking him out of his room. For some reason he felt like it was more then just his looks, he got the feeling that something else was bothering his friend.

Something Yumichika didn't want Ikkaku to know about, Yumichika didn't want to tell Ikkaku about whatever was bother him. And for some reason it made Ikkaku sad, sad that he wouldn't trust him enough to tell him.

Upon getting clean he headed back to the 4th district, his mind still in turmoil. As he arrived he took up his new residence outside the door, sitting against the door.

It wasn't long before Ren walked down the hallway, a bundle of blankets in her arms. Upon catching sight of Ikkaku's new resting place her eyebrows shot up.

"Ikkaku?" She asked suddenly, "Looking for new real-estate? Because I know of a nice place that doesn't block my path."

He glared at her statement, before moving to the side.

"What are you doing out here anyway baldy?" She asked, waiting before going in. Ikkaku glared at her bald comment, though he didn't yell at her about it.

"Yumichika kicked me out and banned everyone from his room," Ikkaku said with a huff. Refinding a comfortable position against the wall.

"Why would he do that?" Ren asked surprised, she thought they worked out their problems. Ikkaku finally got it through his thick skull that he liked his friend, and she had known Yumichika had liked him back for a while now.

"He's afraid for anyone to see him in his 'less then perfect state'," Ikkaku muttered out. Ren nodded at that, she understood now. "I don't care what he looks like, I just want to make sure he's okay."

"Well, think about it from his point of view." Ren said, "He not only has lost a lot of weight but his hair hadn't been properly washed in a week. His body is covered in sweat and grim, he just doesn't feel comfortable for anyone to see him like this."

"Like I said, I don't care what he looks like or how dirty he is. I just want to watch over him, I just got him back I don't want to lose him again."

"Calm down," Ren said. "Captain Unohana told me she did a full examination on him last night or rather early this morning. And he was expected to make a full recovery, there is absolutely no chance of relapsing."

Ikkaku didn't comment, he just stared away from her. His features were hard, his eyes cold and emotionless. He was hiding something, something Ren didn't know of.

"What is it Ikkaku?" Ren asked suddenly, "What aren't you telling me?"

"I think he's pulling away from me," Ikkaku said sadly. Though his features stayed emotionless Ren could sense the turmoil he was going through.

"Pulling away?" She asked confused, not understanding what that could possibly mean.

"I think he doesn't like me like that anymore," He said.

"Like that?" She asked confused, crouching down beside him. "Be clear with me Ikkaku, because I have no clue what you could possibly be talking about."

"I think he's rethinking our relationship," He said turning his head away.

"Wait you had a relationship?" She asked suddenly, surprised at that one.

"That's what I thought," Ikkaku said with a ironic smile. "Just when I realize a few things he pulls back from me, just when I finally decided to do something."

"How do you know he's thinking this?" She asked, she just couldn't believe what she was hearing. "Maybe he just doesn't want you to see him like this."

"Every time I see Captain Unohana she says he's doing fine, but I know differently." Ikkaku said seriously, "You forgot I've been with Yumichika for literally decades. I know when it's just vanity, and this isn't just it."

"Okay how about this," She said as she stood from her crouched position beside him. "I'll go in and talk to him, and if I find anything bothering him I'll come tell you."

"Thanks Ren," Ikkaku said gratefully. She smiled and walked in, closing the door behind her. Ikkaku really hoping Ren would find out what was bothering Yumichika.

It was eating him up inside, not knowing what was bothering his friend. His entire being felt as though it was on edge, just the slightest thing could set him off.

It was about half an hour later when Ren finally emerged from Yumichika's room, her expression closed off. Ikkaku stood as she walked out, his face expectant.

"Well what is it?" He asked the silent shinigami, she just shook her head.

"I can't help you Ikkaku," She said sadly her entire body displaying her sadness. That confused Ikkaku, what could she mean by that?

"What do you mean?" Ikkaku voiced his thoughts, "Didn't you find out what was bothering him." Ikkaku felt his hope start to crumble, Ren was acting oddly towards his questions.

"I learned what it is, but I'm not at liberty to tell you." She said calmly, her voice filled with regret. Her eyes were closed sadly, the grief filled blue eyes hidden.

"Not at liberty?" He asked confused. "What do you mean by that?" Now he knew something was wrong, especially if she wasn't allowed to tell.

"Yumichika made me swear not to tell anyone," She said looking down and away. "And as a patient I'm sworn to keep what he said to me secret, patient confidentiality."

Ikkaku felt himself deflate at that, his entire being slumping at that. He finally thought he would get a break, but no life wouldn't let him have that small victory.

"I'm so sorry Ikkaku," She said sadly. She looked distraught as well, "I really wish I could tell you. Because you're not the only one suffering in this relationship."

Ikkaku slumped back down against the wall, his mood dark. Ren herself fell down beside him, feeling the same way he looked.

"Can you at least tell me how he's doing?" Ikkaku asked, turning his head to look at her. She copied the action, looking over to him.

"His body is recovering nicely, the initial stab wound is almost gone." She reported, moving her head back into it's normal position. "His reiatsu is also recovering nicely, he should be back to full power within a month."

"That's good," Ikkaku said. "But what about mentally?" Ikkaku asked next, moving his head back to it's normal resting position as well.

"Well he's mostly better, only a few insecurities and fears left." Ren commented, Ikkaku nodded gravely. "The talk with his captain yesterday really helped him, he was afraid he was going to get kicked out of the division."

"That's stupid," Ikkaku said. "I don't think the Captain would do that, even if we found out that Yumichika was a weakling that couldn't even wield a sword."

"Oh, and why are you so sure of that?" Ren asked, looking over at him again.

"Yumichika had become like the caretaker of the 11th division, without him the others won't do anything other then fight, sleep, and eat. He's the one who makes them clean up, take showers and such. No one else even tries to make them."

"Ahh," Ren said in understanding. "And I don't think Captain Zaraki wants a division full of filthy idiots, especially around Yachiru."

"Yeah," He said with a laugh. After that they fell silent, both lost in their thoughts. Each thinking about a certain shinigami in the room behind them.

Ikkaku wondered absently if Yumichika was doing okay, and that he wished he could help. Because the thought of Yumichika suffering alone, even after he had woke up, made Ikkaku fell useless. He wished with all of who he was that Yumichika would tell him what's wrong, so he could help him. Ikkaku had just learned his true feelings toward his friend, and he wanted to let Yumichika know somehow.

End

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* * *

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**Another Authors note:** I am thinking of doing a story for my character Ren something like a sequel, if anyone would like me to write it please put it in your review. If not then I won't.


	6. The Kiss

**Authors note:** This took me forever! Actually only about 7 hours, but it felt like forever! But here is chapter 6! But before I continue I'd like to thank Angel015, DeepSeaGuardian95, and foxyoai123. Wow not many that time, I feel my self-esteem dropping just looking at that. Anyway! Here is chapter 6 that many of you are looking forward too, so go and enjoy!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach, because if I did Yumichika and Ikkaku would be an honorary couple. But I don't, I own my own soul reaper Ren but not much else.

* * *

One week later

It had been a full week since Ikkaku had gotten kicked out of Yumichika's room, and he still hadn't seen his best friend. Even though Yumichika has been back for a full day, he hadn't came into contact with Yumichika yet.

He stood at the training grounds, running the new recruits into exhaustion. Now that Yumichika was back he had been ordered to go about his normal daily schedule. Which included training the newbies, sparing with the more veteran members and keeping Yachiru busy while the Captain does paperwork.

He sighed, watching a few of the new recruits closely. Many of them had been shirking on their training lately, without Yumichika there to threaten them they don't try so hard. Yes they usually listen to Ikkaku, but that's only because Ikkaku could beat them up. With Yumichika he could and usually did screw their lives up when they didn't follow orders, Ikkaku just takes a more direct approach and beats the sense into them. That is what made Ikkaku the lesser of the 2 evils.

"Hey Madarame-san?" someone asked him, snapping him out of his musings. He looked to see a group of older members coming towards him, he turned to them.

"What is it?" He asked, turning quickly to the recruits as they started to stop. "Did I say you could stop running?" He asked them in a threatening voice, they all shook their heads vigorously before running again.

"Is Ayasegawa-san coming back soon?" They asked, that surprised Ikkaku. "The division doesn't seem the same without his narcissistic attitude around."

Ikkaku chuckled, "I know what you mean." He said and they all chuckled as well, "He should be back in about a week." He said, "He isn't allowed to exercise until he rebuilds up his stamina and reiatsu levels."

"That's good," the leader of the group said. "I'm going to ask him to train me when he gets back to fighting form." He said, and some of the others nodded in agreement.

"Train you?" Ikkaku asked truly surprised, he wasn't expecting this.

"Yes," He replied. "He managed to get the 5th seat, would be 4th if not for his problem with the kanji, without using his full Shikai, that makes him strong and tough!" Many of the others nodded in agreement.

Ikkaku chuckled, he couldn't wait until Yumichika heard that. He hoped he was there to see his friends expression, better yet he hoped he had a camera. So he could take those picture things they had in the real world.

"Hey Ikkaku!" The voice startled him and he looked to see Ren coming into the training grounds. Many of the 11th members all stared as she came into their view, surprised to see a 4th member in their division. Even more surprising to see her talking so casually to their 3rd seated officer.

"Hey Ren," Ikkaku said surprising the members even more. They didn't expect their 3rd seat to act so comfortable around a 4th seat. "What is it?" He asked.

She came to a stop in front of him, "I got Hanataro to identify the ones who beat him up." She then turned to look at the few 11th members around her with contempt. They all instinctively took a step back.

"Really?" Ikkaku asked surprised... but upon thinking about it he wasn't too surprised. "Okay Ren, what did you do to him?"

Ren laughed at his question, "You know me to well." She said still chuckling, "I only tied him to a chair and gave him a book full of photos of everyone."

"And?" He asked knowing there had to be more to it then that.

Ren chuckled again, "I only warned him that if he didn't tell me I'd tell everyone who he likes." She laughed again, only this one was a little more evil.

Ikkaku sighed at her, "So who was it?" Ikkaku asked, not wanting to even try to tell her that that wasn't a very nice thing to do. Ikkaku had done quite a few not so nice things in his day.

She leaned in and whispered in his ear, he nodded as she pulled back. "Ishiki! Toshino! Muriami! and Mizuki!" Ikkaku shouted at the new recruits, 4 came out of the group to stand in front of him. He studied them critically, "I heard that you 4 ambushed a 4th division member about a week ago and beat him up."

They looked nervously at each other, they then nodded. No use lying, they were already caught. "But he's only a 4th, and he didn't even try to fight back." The tallest said.

"Yes, and that made it okay to beat him up?" Ikkaku said with that tone of voice. "Tell me..." He said talking to the older members, "Do you remember what happened the other day?"

"Intensive training?" They asked, knowing not to mess with Ikkaku when he was like this.

"Yes, the intensive training was made to punish these 4 here." Ikkaku said and every other 11th member glared at them. "It is considered weak to pick on those weaker then you. And they did, so that was their punishment."

"But what about us?" The other recruits asked, "Why did we get punished as well?" The older members looked at him with pity, they knew better then to question the 3rd seat.

"Because you didn't stop him," He said turning his glare to them. "How many of you knew this had happened?" They didn't even try lying, many of them raised their hands. "So next time you'll know to stop anyone else who decide to beat up on those weaker then you."

"Well we were already punished," One of them replied. "The intensive training was enough." Ikkaku smiled evilly at that, such naive fools.

"For you 4 no it's not," He replied. "I want you all to run around the compound, and do not stop until I deem it okay. Do you understand?" He said in a voice that broke no argument.

They nodded before taking off, getting to work before Ikkaku thought of something else to do to them. Something more worse then just running, Ikkaku has been known to think up the most torturous training regiments when angered.

"Madarame-san?" One of the older 11th members asked, "Why are you being so nice to a 4th member?" Before Ikkaku could retort, Ren turned to him with a glare.

"What? Do you not think I'm worthy of being his friend?" She asked, leveling him with a glare that could turn one to stone.

"No, your just a 4th member, and not even a high ranking one at that." Ikkaku wanted to interfere but knew better, Ren could take care of herself.

"So just because I'm in the 4th division means I can't talk to Ikkaku?" She asked angrily, her voice easily bordering on homicidal.

"Yes," He said with a contemptible look. Ikkaku really felt sorry for the fool, Ren was vicious when crossed.

"How about this?" Ren said with a deathly calm voice, a few of the others flinched at the tone. "We spar, if I win you can't say a thing about me befriending Ikkaku. If you win I won't come near the 11th district nor Ikkaku again." The 11th laughed while nodding, thinking it would be a sure win. As they proceeded to a sparing ring Ikkaku watched on amused.

"Madarame-san?" Some of the new recruits looked at him in concern, "Don't you think you should help her? She's only a healer."

Ikkaku laughed, "That is where you are wrong." They looked at him confused but Ikkaku only shook his head. "Don't worry, just watch."

They did, and as the spar started the idiot ran at Ren. Ren stood there calmly, at odds with her normal persona. In a fight she was calm and collected, much to the surprise of those around her. "A little healer can't hope to defeat me!" He said unsheathing his sword. "I'm an 11th! A member of the toughest district in the Gotei 13!"

"Who said I was a healer?" Ren asked emotionlessly, dodging each of his sword strikes. Every time he'd swing she'd step to the side, easily dodging the attacks. "I'm only in the 4th division for one reason." She stated, pulling her own sword out slowly. The action seemed more menacing then it really should've been.

"And what would that be!?" He shouted attacking her again, she easily sidestepped and slashed down at him. Efficiently slicing his shirt off and most of his pants as well.

"I am an experiment to see how effective protectors would be for healers," She said calmly sheathing her sword, his cloths were in literal shreds. "So I can fight think you very much," She said before smirking. "And with that I win."

She then turned to leave dismissing him, outraged he lunged at her back. Ikkaku moved to stop him, but it was already to late. Ren looked over her shoulder emotionlessly, releasing her reiatsu. The idiot stumbled, and fell to his knees. Literally being suffocated under her spiritual pressure.

"It is dishonorable to go for one's back," She stated. Before walking over to him, he was still bowed under her reiatsu. She then kicked him onto his back, "Especially if you had already lost in a spar."

With that she released her spiritual pressure, letting him relax enough to breath heavily. She then walked back over to Ikkaku, already back to her happy self. "That was fun," She said with a smile. Ikkaku just stared at her with wide eyes, her reiatsu was almost as strong if not stronger then his!

"Oh!" She said as she realized what he was shocked about, "My spiritual pressure!" She said looking at all of the newer recruits laying on the ground as well as a few veterans crouching while breathing heavily, "I didn't mean to cause any trouble. He went for my back and I instinctively released my reiatsu."

"It's okay," Ikkaku said recovering. Still a little shocked the revelation of her reiatsu, "Though I think they won't bother you anymore."

"I hope so, Captain Unohana doesn't like it when I release my spiritual pressure near newbies." She said looking at the ones still laying on the ground. "Sorry for that guys!" She shouted to them but they all merely groaned, still to winded to reply.

"They'll be fine, the Captain's is much worse then that. If they can't even take yours then they have to improve themselves if they want to fight beside Captain Zaraki." Ikkaku told her, she nodded.

"Oh yeah!" She said in a panicky voice. "The Captain wanted me to come back as soon as I was done with my 'errand'!" She took off, running all out towards the 4th district. "Bye Ikkaku!"

With that she was gone, much to the relief of the 11th district. Ikkaku turned to the recovering members of his division and he sighed. "If you sissies can't even take that reiatsu then you all suck."

They all just groaned at him, he smiled. Training today was going to be fun, he thought. Not only did he get to beat up on them but now he got to humiliate them for falling under a 4th division member's reiatsu.

"Okay! Up and at em boys! Time to get back to work!" They all groaned as they climbed to their feet, not in the least ready for what was to come.

Many hours later Ikkaku proceeded home, walking by way of the moonlight. His sword was slung over his shoulder, his head glowing in the darkness. It was currently 10 o'clock and for some reason he wasn't too excited about heading back home. Yes Yumichika was back, but he was still shutting him out. Yumichika kept himself locked away from Ikkaku and it hurt him deeply. When he had left this morning Yumichika had locked himself into the bathroom, so Ikkaku couldn't talk to him.

He sighed, running his hand over his head. Rubbing the bite marks on his scalp, a few of them still stung slightly. Watching Yachiru was always a pain, especially considering Yumichika wasn't there to help keep her distracted. Though she did seem happy that he was back, hence the extra bite marks.

As he made it back to the barracks he called out, "I'm back!" He wasn't too surprised when no one answered him, he kicked off his sandals and moved all he way into the room.

He noted the door that led to the balcony closed, probably locked. Yumichika had always sat on the balcony when he wanted to brood, Ikkaku recognized the normal behavior immediately.

He sighed before moving to take a shower, deciding to humor his friend. After taking his shower he headed back out into the room, taking a seat on his futon. Laying back he pondered his and Yumichika's situation.

His friend couldn't ignore him forever, though it was starting to seem like he was. Yumichika had always been able to avoid him when he wanted, though Ikkaku couldn't say the same.

But they had never been separated for more then a week though, and it made Ikkaku twitchy. He had thought multiple times about breaking the door down to go see his friend. But that would only make Yumichika more upset then he already was, and Ikkaku didn't want to add to his problems.

He turned on his futon, laying on his side. His mind still whirling around with his chaotic thoughts, each thought rustling around annoyingly.

But as he laid there a sudden idea made him sit up fully, a small smile on his lips. He knew how to figure out how Yumichika was feeling! He'd use the same way he figured out all the other things he learned about his friend.

So he stood up and creeping over to Yumichika's side of the room sat down on his futon. He looked to the door that lead to the balcony for a few seconds before opening the drawer.

Quietly rustling through Yumichika's cloths he found what he was looking for under a folded Kimono. Pulling out the small leather bound book he relaxed back onto Yumichika's bed, taking a few watchful glances at the door.

Why Ikkaku was acting so paranoid confused him, he hadn't seen Yumichika in a week. The chances that Yumichika would show up just as he read his journal was slim to none.

Sitting back he opened the book, flipping through pages until he found the one he was looking for. He was surprised however to see only a few sentences, he was even more surprised when he read them.

Dear Journal,

Ikkaku. If you are reading this then meet me on the balcony at midnight. If you come then I will know my answer, there is something we must talk about.

Ikkaku stared at the journal in surprise, Yumichika knew he read his journal?! This was so not good, he had no clue what Yumichika would do to him for this. Ikkaku quickly put the book back, stepping away from Yumichika's side almost as if it would engulf him alive.

How had Yumichika figured out that Ikkaku read his journal?! He sat back down, panic clear in his actions. He thought back to when he talked to Yumichika while he was in a coma, he had said some things that did pertain to the journal entries he read.

Though thinking back to the entry it didn't seem as if Yumichika was really that angry, that thought calmed him down slightly. But now that Yumichika wanted to see him, maybe they would finally be able to solve this problem. One Ikkaku couldn't even identify.

So Yumichika wasn't angry, well not murderously. That comforted him a little, at least he wasn't going to become a victim of Yumichika's Zanpakuto's real release form.

He laid back on his futon, waiting anxiously for midnight. Not only would he be able to solve the problem that kept him from his best friend, but he'd be able to see Yumichika again.

-------

Yumichika sat on the balcony, staring up at the full moon morosely. His thoughts a whirlwind of activity, chaos in the normal calmness of his mind.

He felt nervous, insecure, and jittery, and all because there might be a small chance that he'd see Ikkaku. He felt his breathing stop again, like it did all week every time he thought of Ikkaku.

He wasn't even sure that Ikkaku had read his journal, though he still felt a bit miffed at that. Having Ikkaku know all of his deepest thoughts and feelings made him nervous, though at least he didn't have to tell his friend about them.

That is if Ikkaku had read his journal, he reminded himself. There was no proof that he had, so it was only a shot in the dark. He looked at the position of the moon, he'd find out in about 10 minutes.

When he had wrote that journal entry he had hoped against all hope that Ikkaku read it. He was too much of a coward to confront Ikkaku to his face, thus the hiding for a week.

Yumichika was pissed at his cowardly reaction towards Ikkaku but he couldn't help himself, he was afraid that Ikkaku didn't feel the same. Or he felt resentment over the secret of his sword, that thought worried Yumichika a lot more then it should.

As midnight approached he discretely watched the door out of the corner of his eye, anticipation and fear mingling together in the pit of his stomach making him slightly ill.

As the door opened and Ikkaku walked out Yumichika breathed out a silent breath of relief, even while his stomach churned. He studied his friend, since it was the first time in a week that he saw Ikkaku. He had small crisscrossing scars that were almost healed, reminding Yumichika of the web that had caught him. And he was sporting a few bite marks on his head, that to Yumichika looked fresh. It seemed that Ikkaku got to watch Yachiru today, he mentally snickered.

"Yumichika?" Ikkaku asked taking a look at his friend. He wasn't as pale as he used to be, and his hair was clean and back in it's rightful style. He was still thinner then he should be, but not by much. To Ikkaku he looked good, and it relieved him that his friend was recovering.

"Hey Ikkaku," Yumichika said seriously. Ikkaku taking note of the tone sat down on one of the railings, across from Yumichika.

"Do you want to explain to me why you avoided me for a week?" Ikkaku asked, his tone completely neutral of all emotion.

Yumichika however flinched, even though the tone wasn't accusing in any way. "I was…. mmmumble." He whispered, to low for Ikkaku to hear.

"What?" Ikkaku asked moving closer to hear, Yumichika wasn't talking loud enough to hear.

Yumichika flushed slightly before leaning away, his head lowered slightly. "I was too afraid," He finally said, loud enough that Ikkaku could hear.

"Afraid?" He asked, watching his friend closely. There hadn't been to many times when his friend was afraid, so it startled Ikkaku.

"I was afraid to face you," He ratified. His eyes were still downcast, staring at the ground below him. Ikkaku stared at him surprised for a second, his mouth gaping much like a fish.

"Why would you be afraid?" He asked, Yumichika didn't reply still staring forlornly at the ground. "Yumichika, look at me." He said and the light violet eyes rose to meet his, Ikkaku was surprised to see fear in them. Fear and trepidation.

"And what do you want me to say?" Yumichika said looking at him sharply, "That I'm not afraid that you found out what I feel? That I'm not afraid that you don't feel the same way? That I'm not afraid that you could reject me?" Yumichika wrapped his arms around himself, leaning back against the building. He averted his eyes again, not letting Ikkaku see all that was revealed in them.

"How could you think I'd reject you?" Ikkaku sat forward, staring at Yumichika with a hard look. "You never rejected me for my attitude, or my love of fighting or my looks."

Yumichika's eyes snapped back to his at that last one, "What do you mean your looks?" He said a little angrily, "You might not be the most beautiful person in the world but you look fine to me." And coming from Yumichika that was saying a lot.

Ikkaku raised his eyes at that and a slight flush covered Yumichika's face, he turned away. "And your love of fighting isn't a bother either, except when you get yourself hurt." He said directing a slight glare at him out of the corner of his eye.

Ikkaku raised his eyebrows at that, "And who got hurt because they had to protect me?" Yumichika glared at him at that.

"I wanted to protect you from getting hurt, if I hadn't then you would've died." Yumichika said with a slight huff, Ikkaku glared back.

"Do you see how that could work both ways?" Ikkaku said with a growl, "I know it was my own stupid mistake that put you in the hospital. If I hadn't turned my back on that Ajuukasu then you wouldn't have been hurt."

"It wasn't your fault I got hurt," Yumichika said.

Ikkaku however didn't hear him, "And then while you were unconscious and I couldn't even do anything to help you, I couldn't even protect you from the normal Hollows."

"Ikkaku," Yumichika said his name hoping to catch his attention. It was a lost cause however as Ikkaku continued to rant, he didn't even respond to Yumichika's voice.

"If it wasn't for Ren Yachiru, and Shuuhei not only I but you, Hanataro, and Ren would've been killed. How can I not feel useless when faced with that?"

"Ikkaku!" Yumichika shouted, finally catching the bald shinigami's attention. "It's not your fault," He said again. "I made my own decisions and I had to accept the consequences. Hanataro was doing his job and so was Ren, so you have no right to place any of the blame on yourself."

Ikkaku stared at Yumichika during his rant, surprise obviously painted on his features. Yumichika glared at him when he didn't respond, "Do you blame yourself now?" He asked.

Ikkaku shook his head, even if it was just for self preservation. He knew when to shut up around Yumichika and just agree to whatever he's saying, and now was one of those times.

"Good," Yumichika said. He hadn't expected the conversation to take this kind of turn, though he was glad they got it out in the open. They stood in companionable silence, neither knowing what to say.

"Yumichika..."

"Ikkaku..."

They both started at the same time, Ikkaku motioning Yumichika to go first. Yumichika sighed before gathering his courage. "Do you hate me because I didn't tell you about my Zanpakuto?" He asked, his eyes leaving Ikkaku's figure once again.

"I couldn't hate you," Ikkaku replied. "Though I was a little angry because you didn't trust me with your secret." Yumichika looked up sharply.

"Didn't trust you!?" He stared at Ikkaku as if he just grew an afro, and a beard. "I trust you more then anyone in the world!"

"Then why didn't you tell me?" He asked quietly, still feeling hurt for such a secret being kept from him. Especially by his best friend.

"I was scared, scared that you would hate me for it." He replied, wrapping his arms around himself again. "I know how much you think kido based Zanpakuto's are cowardly. I was afraid you'd think that about me."

"I could never hate you, yes I would've been a little angry but it would've worn off after a while." Ikkaku told him, moving to sit beside his friend. Lending as much comfort as he could towards his distraught friend. "I couldn't hate you for something you had no control over."

"Thanks," Yumichika said with a slight smile.

"Oh and just so you know the other 11th members are waiting for your return as well." Ikkaku said much to Yumichika's surprise.

"Waiting for me?" Yumichika asked, "Isn't any of them angry after learning that their 5th seat has a kido based sword?" He hadn't expected them to understand his predicament.

"No, they are all quite proud of you actually. A few actually wants to ask if you would train them," That shocked Yumichika almost as much as learning they didn't hate him.

"Train them? Me? Are you sure that you weren't just hallucinating?" Yumichika asked, there was no way that what Ikkaku said was true.

"Nope, they want you to train them. Evidently getting to 5th seat without using your full Shikai shocked quite a bit of them, and made them really proud to work under you." Ikkaku smiled at Yumichika's expression, he looked like a fish out of water.

Yumichika took a full 5 minutes for the information to fully sink in, and when it finally stopped being shocking he smiled slightly. His division wasn't the best, nor the cleanest but it was good enough for him.

"What did you want to say Ikkaku when I interrupted earlier?" Yumichika asked, watching Ikkaku shift nervously where he sat. His curiosity was piqued as Ikkaku looked away with a slightly fearful expression.

"Are you angry that I read your journal?" He asked, he was truly curious. He didn't want Yumichika to be angry over something that helped him realize a few facts that he really needed too.

"I was when I first found out," Yumichika confessed much to Ikkaku's surprise. "But after that wore off I was embarrassed, embarrassed that you learned all of my deepest feelings. Then I was relieved because I didn't have to tell you, call it cowardly but it's what I felt."

"It's not cowardly to be afraid of rejection," Ikkaku muttered with his eyes averted. "I was afraid you'd be angry at me reading your journal and that you'd hate me."

"I couldn't have you over something so trivial," Even if the trivial thing was a book of his most deepest thoughts and feelings.

Ikkaku smiled in relief, glad that his friend didn't take it too hard. He was expecting to get beat up, Yumichika on a normal basis probably would have.

"I'm glad that you learned about my feelings," Yumichika said though there was something off about his tone. "It's a big relief to me."

"Yumichika," Ikkaku said gaining his friend's attention. Yumichika looked at him questioningly, and a little nervously. "I told you while you were in your coma but I feel I need to tell you while you're awake."

Yumichika looked slightly nervous, his flight or fight reaction kicking in. He had no clue why he was so scared but he forced himself to stay still, to listen.

"When I read about your feelings developing I felt stupid, because if I noticed earlier a lot of pain could have been avoided." Ikkaku started.

Yumichika moved to interrupt but Ikkaku raised his hand to cut him off.

"But I didn't, and you suffered for it. Even worse is you suffered in silence, and it makes me feel even worse because I was the cause of this suffering."

"No you weren't," Yumichika said but Ikkaku just shook his head.

"Yes I was, because it made you feel alone." Ikkaku said, "And I don't want you to feel alone with me around. I should've noticed this and helped you."

"You're not responsible for my feelings," Yumichika said. Ikkaku just looked at him with a serious look, one that caused Yumichika to squirm.

"It is when I myself was developing the same feelings," He said much to Yumichika's surprise. "I wasn't paying attention to these feelings so I had no clue they developed, it wasn't until I read your journal that I realized what I felt."

Yumichika stared at him, gaping with his mouth open. Ikkaku smiled slightly at his look, it wasn't often that you could take Yumichika by surprise but when you did it was humorous.

"So yes I have some responsibility in this," Ikkaku said. Yumichika just stared at him, finally closing his mouth so he no longer looked like a fish out of water.

"You feel the same?" Yumichika asked, he knew Ikkaku had said something similar in the hospital while he was in a coma, but he was afraid that it had only been a hallucination fueled by his own feelings.

"Of course," Ikkaku said. "Do you think I'd let you jump into anything this big without joining you for the ride?" Yumichika chuckled at that, "We'll just have to figure it out together."

"Thanks Ikkaku," He said with a relieved smile. He was so glad that Ikkaku felt the same for him, though it wasn't enough for him.

They sat back in silence, just listening to the sounds of nature. Yumichika looked much more calm and relaxed then when Ikkaku first came out. But for some reason he felt like something else was bothering his narcissistic friend.

"What's wrong Yumichika?" Ikkaku asked, obviously surprising his friend.

"What do you mean?" He asked, trying to play dumb. Unfortunately Ikkaku knew him more then that and he just stared at him.

"I mean what else is bothering you, I can literally see it eating you alive." Ikkaku retorted, and Yumichika looked at him slightly desperate.

"It's nothing I swear!" Yumichika said, how could he explain to his friend that he was afraid that Ikkaku didn't find him desirable because he was a man?

"If you don't tell me then I'll read your journal to the entire 11th division." He threatened and Yumichika felt himself freeze at the thought. He'd be the laughing stalk of the entire Seireitei, he gritted his teeth.

"Fine!" He shouted, averting his eyes once again. "I'm afraid that mmmmumble." He said his sentence ending with an undistinguishable mumble.

"I didn't understand what you said Yumichika," Ikkaku encouraged. Too bad Yumichika wasn't aware that Ikkaku would never reveal his journal to the district nor anyone else for that matter. But he didn't need to know that now did he?

"I'm afraid that you..." He paused swallowing heavily. Yumichika's face was slightly flushed and Ikkaku leaned in further to hear him. He was too nervous to finish the sentence and if suddenly all made sense to Ikkaku.

Standing up and reaching out quickly he took Yumichika by surprise and hauled him against his own frame. Lowering his head he sealed his lips against Yumichika's.

Yumichika himself was so surprised at the action that he stood stock still, his eyes widened as far as they would go. His face was a bright shade of red and his arms hung loosely by his side. He was more surprised however when Ikkaku opened his lips to run his tongue over Yumichika's bottom lip.

Yumichika gasped, and Ikkaku took advantage of the situation. Delving his tongue into Yumichika's mouth he explored the moist cavern. His tongue running over everything it could reach, tangling with Yumichika's

Yumichika finally getting over the surprise wrapped his arms around Ikkaku's shoulders, leaning into the kiss further. He let his own tongue tangle with Ikkaku's, both playing together.

After a few breathless minutes Ikkaku drew back, a long string of saliva connecting their lips. "Does that answer your question?" Ikkaku asked, Yumichika just slowly nodded his mind not up to higher functions like speaking.

After Yumichika finally recovered enough for proper thinking he leaned in further into Ikkaku's frame, wrapping his arms around Ikkaku's torso. "I love you Ikkaku." He replied, a small smile on his lips.

"I love you too Yumichika," Ikkaku replied with a smile. His own arms wound around Yumichika's frame, holding him close. "I'm glad I read your journal," Ikkaku said catching Yumichika by surprise. He let a smile cross his lips, looking down at Yumichika. "It was like a catalyst, helping me realize things I needed to faster."

Yumichika chuckled as he realized it was true, laying his head against Ikkaku's chest. He was glad that Ikkaku read his journal, even if he did find out a few embarrassing things about him.

They stood like that for a few minutes, both just relishing in the warm feelings they felt for each other. That was until a shout from below caught their attention, they looked at each other confused.

Both looked over the railing, they then noticed 4 figures running. All 4 of them were on the verge of collapse, sweating heavily. "Come on guys!" The one furthest ahead shouted. "Do you want Ikkaku to roast our behinds?!"

"No!" They all shouted at once, running after him. They took a turn around the building and were gone, completely oblivious of the 2 watching from the balcony.

"Ikkaku?" Yumichika asked, "What was that about?"

"Ooops!" Ikkaku said lightly hitting himself on the forehead, "I told them to run this morning and keep running until I told them to stop." He felt himself about to laugh, "I forgot to tell them to stop."

"Why do you have them running?" Yumichika asked.

"They were the ones that beat up Hanataro," Yumichika's expression turned from sympathetic to uncaring in the blink of an eye.

"I don't think you should tell them to stop yet," He said wrapping his arms around Ikkaku's neck again.

"No I don't think I will," he said wrapping his own arms around Yumichika. Letting the warmth from the smaller shinigami spread through him.

"I still love you baldy," Yumichika said with a smile. Ikkaku grinned, for once not offended by the nickname.

"I love you too pretty boy." He replied and Yumichika laughed, knowing it was a name born of affection instead of malice.

They stood in each others embrace, neither had expected their lives to take this turn but they were glad it did. Because life is always filled with surprises, both good and bad. And sometimes you need the bad things in life for the good to appear and be appreciated.

End... or is it?


	7. The End

**Authors note:** Here is chapter 7 of 'The Catalyst', the final chapter at that. I know some people have been waiting for a lemon so here it is. My younger sister reads this fic so I had to separate it from any of the other chapters, and then forbid her from reading this one. I would like to thank Angel015, DeepSeaGuardian95, and foxyoai123 for their lovely reviews! They've been with me from the beginning and I thank them for that! Just to warn you though this is my first lemon ever, so if it's not too good I apologize. So please bear with me and enjoy!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach, though I do own Ren and the following lemon. I don't know how great that is so I'll let you decide.

* * *

They stood out on the balcony, both standing in each other's embrace. Both of them content to just stand there, listening to each other's heartbeat.

"Hey Ikkaku?" Yumichika asked, staring out over the Seireitei. His head was nestled against Ikkaku's chest, his hair a little messy. Normally he was annoyed by that but for now he was too content to worry about it.

"Yes?" Ikkaku asked, wondering what his friend or rather boyfriend could possibly be thinking of.

"Are we going to tell anyone... you know about us?" He asked looking up to him, Ikkaku sighed.

"I don't know," He said truthfully. "I like having you all to myself," He replied and Yumichika smiled. "Though I don't doubt Ren will find out, or Hanataro for that matter."

"True," Yumichika said. "I don't really want to tell the 11th division yet though," He said with a slight hesitation in his voice.

"Okay we won't," Ikkaku said and Yumichika sighed in relief before nestling his head against Ikkaku's chest again.

"Thanks." He replied, smiling.

"I think they will find out eventually though," Ikkaku stated and Yumichika nodded. "But until then they really don't need to know."

"By then hopefully they won't find it so odd." Yumichika said and Ikkaku chuckled. They fell back into their silence, neither bothered by it.

He was a little hesitant about not telling anyone, but Yumichika wanted it that way so he guessed it was going to stay quiet for now.

Ikkaku looked down at Yumichika, a small smile crossed his face. He was so glad that he finally got through to him, glad that Yumichika felt the same as him. He removed one of his arms from around Yumichika to grasp his chin, he lifted his chin.

Yumichika's eyes stared at him, love and desire shining in those violet orbs. Ikkaku did the only thing he could do at the look, he leaned down and captured the other's lips. As he deepened the kiss he felt Yumichika respond in kind, their tongues dancing together in the moist cavern of his mouth.

As Yumichika's arms wounded around Ikkaku's neck, he leaned into him. Ikkaku himself laid his hands on the other's waist, keeping a firm hold.

Ikkaku then walked Yumichika backward, back towards their room. As they entered Ikkaku kicked the balcony door shut behind him, not breaking the kiss. Though it was getting harder to walk, especially considering Yumichika kept rubbing against him like that.

As they made it to Ikkaku's futon he lowered Yumichika onto it, their lips never breaking contact. As he settled down on top of Yumichika their lips broke for the first time, allowing them to take a much needed breath. Yumichika stared up at him with a dazed look and Ikkaku felt accomplishment flow through him.

He lowered his lips to Yumichika's ear, "You were afraid that I didn't desire you." He stated, his breath warming Yumichika's ear. Yumichika himself shuddered at the breath, raising his hands to Ikkaku's shoulders.

Ikkaku chuckled and nipped at his ear, "I don't think you will have to worry about that anymore." He said licking the shell of Yumichika's ear. Yumichika gasped at the contact, arching his hips against Ikkaku's.

"I-Ikkaku," Yumichika managed to say.

Ikkaku just continued on, biting and nipping at Yumichika's throat. Feeling the shudders that racked the shinigami's small frame, smiling at each one.

He pulled back to look at Yumichika, before reaching for the orange thing he had over his shinigami robes. Unbuckling it he removed it, "Won't be needing this for now." He replied disconnecting it from his wrist and tossing it away.

Yumichika would've reprimanded him for the clumsy move but he was having a little too much trouble breathing. Heat was spreading throughout his entire body, driving him insane. It didn't help either that every time Ikkaku touched him the fire was stoked hotter.

Ikkaku watched Yumichika's reactions, enjoying the play of emotion on his face. He traced fingers down Yumichika's throat, raising goosebumps before proceeding down his chest. As his hands reached his hakama he untied the fabric, pulling the top of Yumichika's shinigami robes open.

Yumichika himself was fumbling with Ikkaku's upper robes, trying unsuccessfully to get to the skin below the cloth. Ikkaku chuckled, lowering his mouth to Yumichika's throat again.

He nipped at the flesh there again, letting his mouth trail down until it reached the smaller shinigami's nipples. Taking one into his mouth he laved at it with his tongue, twirling it around. He let his hand raise up to give attention to the other, listening attentively to the hitching of Yumichika's breath.

After he felt that he gave that nipple sufficient attention he pulled back to blow on it, admiring the gooseflesh that rose on Yumichika's skin as well as his shuddered breath. Moving over to the other nipple he gave it the same amount of attention the first got.

Yumichika gasped at the amazing feeling, gripping Ikkaku's shoulders desperately. He had already gave up on getting Ikkaku's shirt off, it had gotten to much for him to concentrate when Ikkaku had put his mouth on him.

He lifted his hips against Ikkaku's when he pulled back to blow on his now wet nipple, the feeling getting too much for him to handle.

"I-Ikkaku," Yumichika managed to breath out. "Stop... ugh... torturing me!" He said with a pant, his eyes hazy. Ikkaku chuckled, moving back away from Yumichika.

Yumichika himself grabbed at him, his hands falling from Ikkaku's shoulders. As Ikkaku loomed over him his eyes cleared slightly, he glared up at Ikkaku.

"Why did you stop?" He asked with a sulky tone, he did not appreciate him stopping, especially when Yumichika was enjoying it so much.

"We can't continue on if we're fully dressed now can we?" Ikkaku asked, Yumichika's expression cleared up at that. Though his face was a faint red still, he pulled himself out from under Ikkaku.

"I want to," He said leaning towards Ikkaku. Ikkaku smiled and leaned back, he'd let Yumichika have his fun for now. Yumichika started by untying Ikkaku's sash at his waist, and pulled his robes out. He then pushed them off of his shoulders and down his arms, leaning in to kiss the flesh of Ikkaku's shoulder.

Ikkaku's breath hitched at the feeling, the breath warm against his shoulder. He was enjoying it a lot, that was until Yumichika bit him. "Ouch," He stated bluntly. Yumichika looked up at him with no sign of remorse.

"It's to show everyone else that you're mine," He said and Ikkaku was surprised at his possessiveness. Yumichika then went back to the bite mark to suck on it, and suddenly Ikkaku didn't care anymore.

Yumichika pushed the shirt completely off Ikkaku's arms, tossing it away. Letting his fingers trail over the expanse of muscles that made up Ikkaku's torso he went back to biting and nipping at Ikkaku's shoulder.

Ikkaku got to torture him so it was only fair that he got to do some torturing himself, he then let his hands trail downward. As they met the top of his pants, Ikkaku tensed. Yumichika grinned, letting his hands trail down below the waistline.

Ikkaku's entire body jerked when Yumichika touched him, the feeling better then he could've imagined. His fingers wrapped around the semi aroused flesh, feeling it thicken in his palm. He was sure now that Ikkaku desired him, almost as much as Yumichika desired his bald partner. As Yumichika moved his hands away from his hardened flesh he could swear Ikkaku wined.

Pushing Ikkaku's pants down it allowed Ikkaku's erection to be freed, Yumichika smiled devishly when Ikkaku quickly pulled his pants off the rest of the way.

"My turn," Ikkaku muttered reaching towards Yumichika. He surprised him however when he grabbed his shirt and ripped it off. Yumichika chuckled, but was cut short when Ikkaku grabbed his pants. He quickly pulled Yumichika's pants off, and chucked them onto the floor.

Ikkaku pushed Yumichika backwards, hovering over him once again. "Suck," He ordered putting 3 fingers against Yumichika's mouth. Yumichika smiled before opening his mouth, accepting the digits to lave at them with his tongue.

Ikkaku almost came then and there, the feeling extremely pleasurable. He held it off however and jerked his fingers free. Lifting Yumichika's legs over his hips he moved his hand down towards his goal. He moved his body up to capture Yumichika's lips with his own, delving his tongue in deep.

While letting his fingers massage the tight ring of muscle of Yumichika's entrance, he kept his partner distracted with his tongue. He plunged one in, causing Yumichika groaned in pain. Ikkaku pulled back from the kiss. "Relax," Ikkaku said. "It hurts if you don't."

Yumichika looked at him with something akin to annoyance before moving his hips around the invading digit. As he slowly adjusted he nodded his head to Ikkaku, signifying that he was ready to continue.

Ikkaku moved the finger around a little bit to relax the muscles before adding another, scissoring them apart. Yumichika gasped, in both pain and pleasure. He couldn't tell the difference at this point, it was too intense. Grasping Ikkaku's shoulders he moved his hips against the digits impatiently.

As Ikkaku added another finger Yumichika groaned again, his head falling back. Ikkaku moved his fingers, trying to loosen the muscles and make this as pain free as he could. As Yumichika slowly adjusted Ikkaku felt his way around, trying to find the one spot that would make this much more pleasurable for Yumichika.

So when Yumichika practically screamed, his hips thrusting upwards Ikkaku knew he had found it. Lightly scraping his fingers against that spot he watched Yumichika writhe in ecstasy.

"I-Ikkaku!" Yumichika managed to pant out. "I don't... ugh... want to come...ngh... without you in me!" He said, his breath coming in shallow pants.

Ikkaku chuckled before withdrawing his fingers, and adjusted himself till he was at Yumichika's entrance. "Ready?" He asked, Yumichika just nodded. Ikkaku buried himself to the hilt, tearing a strangled moan from Yumichika's lips. "You okay?" He asked and Yumichika nodded, though there were tears in his eyes.

"Move," He demanded after he had time to adjust. Ikkaku honored his request and almost fully pulled out, Yumichika groaned in disappointment.

That was until Ikkaku pushed back in, making Yumichika's hips buck in counterpoint. A moan ripped from his throat, Ikkaku himself moaned at Yumichika's reaction. Getting harder just watching his partners expressions of pleasure and pain skirting across his face.

He pulled back out and readjusted his angle before pushing back in again, Yumichika's entire body came off the bed with a scream as he hit his prostate.

Ikkaku smiled before picking up his pace, slamming into Yumichika's sweet spot over and over again. Yumichika was burning up, his entire body on fire. Every time Ikkaku slammed into him it made him burn even hotter, and when Ikkaku grabbed his own neglected member and begun to stroke in time to the thrusts he exploded.

As Yumichika came over both of their chests Ikkaku groaned as Yumichika tightened around him. He came not long after, riding out his orgasm as it shook his entire body.

He collapsed on top of his spent partner, being pulled free of Yumichika's passage. Yumichika himself groaned at the movement, but didn't protest.

Ikkaku rolled off of him, pulling the sheets over both of them before pulling Yumichika to him. As the dark headed shinigami snuggled against him Ikkaku smiled.

"You do know we're filthy right?" Ikkaku asked, Yumichika just glared slightly.

"I don't care right now, I might later but at the moment I'm too comfortable." He then snuggled further into Ikkaku's chest, burying his head as far as he could. "I love you," Yumichika stated tiredly.

"I love you too," He said watching as Yumichika fell asleep, messy and covered in sweat and other such things from their lovemaking. Normally Yumichika would freak at the thought of being this way, but right now his partner was too sleepy. Ikkaku kissed the top of Yumichika's head before following his partner in blissful sleep.

There was a smile on both of their lips.

* * *

Ren made her way towards the 11th district, a bag of supplies under her arm. It was currently 6 am and she was the only 4th division member to volunteer to go check on Yumichika. They were all to fearful of the 11th district, something she was going to have to work on. So here she was, before dawn walking towards her friend's district.

She yawned tiredly, her hand covering her mouth. It was way too early to be doing this crap, especially when she had a warm bed back in her own barracks calling her name. She had never been a morning person and this just proved how much she'd rather be asleep.

As she made her way there she was glad she knew exactly where Ikkaku's and Yumichika's barrack was at and she made her way there. She really hoped that they made up and weren't fighting anymore, she didn't want them having troubles forever.

As she made it to the entrance she saw the 4 that beat up Hanataro still running sluggishly around the compound, each of them looking like they were about to drop. Evidently Ikkaku forgot to tell them to stop running, which was funny in her opinion.

She snickered at them before entering the barracks, heading for the furthest building away. The 3rd and 5th seats shared a small building, secluded from the other barracks, and she had to walk further to get there. Usually that would be a good thing, but being as tired as she was she despised the extra distance she had to travel.

As she came upon the door she knocked briefly, and hearing someone stir on the other side opened the door. She froze at what she saw, a trickle of blood started running down her nose.

Quickly slamming the door shut again she grabbed her nose to stop the blood flow, leaning against the opposite wall. Evidently Ikkaku and Yumichika had made up, She thought before taking her handkerchief out and wiping the blood away. She'd just come visit them later to give Yumichika his checkup. And next time she'd knock longer this time, and wait for them to inviter her in before opening the door.

She didn't know if she could take that kind of imagery anymore, her heart was still pounding hard from it. She left, heading back to her district.

She really needed to tell Captain Unohana to postpone Yumichika's checkups until later in the day. That and no one else but herself should go, she didn't know if any of the meeker healers could take that kind of erotic visualizations.

She walked out of the 11th district with a smile on her face, and a small trace of blood under her nose. She was glad they made up, even though she really didn't need to see it. It wasn't comfortable to see someone she saw as a younger brother in bed with someone else, even though it was hot as Hell.

And she'd have to wait till later to tell them the good news about Hanataro and Isane hooking up. The smaller shinigami finally gathered the courage to take her out to dinner, and Isane had been happy to find out that her secret admirer had been Hanataro. Evidently she had a crush on the shy shinigami as well but didn't know how to approach him.

She whistled as she passed a few other shinigami out on guard duty, ignoring their odd looks. It wasn't everyday that you saw someone randomly walking down the street at 6 am happily whistling.

"What was that?" Yumichika asked as he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. It was way to early to have people randomly knocking and then slamming their door.

"Ren," Ikkaku said looking over to Yumichika. Ren had opened the door to see him sitting up with no cloths on and a equally naked Yumichika with nothing but a sheet covering them. They were also disheavled and covered in various fluids that didn't bear mentioning. Ikkaku chuckled, she sure got a sight to see.

"Oh," Yumichika said suddenly. "She was suppose to give me my morning exam." He said with a yawn, snuggling back into the warm covers.

"Yeah," Ikkaku said laying back down to snuggle with Yumichika. "She'll probably be back later." He said finding a comfortable spot, and closing his eyes.

"Mmmmhmm." Yumichika muttered already on the verge of asleep.

With that they both fell back asleep, neither of them bothered at the unexpected visit from Ren. To content to just lay asleep, snuggled with the person they love.

End... for good.


End file.
